Monday, December 1, 2008

An award for lil ol' me :)

The Most High Queen of Arts has awarded me with this.

"This blog invests and believes in PROXIMITY, nearness in space and time of relationships. These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find friends and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers."

Isn't it wonderful! A thousand blessings to whoever came up with this award. It's totally sweet! And a million-ka-trillion-ba-billion blessings to Kim "The Queen of Arts" for thinking of me. I'm very honored to receive this award. Cuddles for you Kimmi-bo-bimmie!

I live my life that way. I believe in relationships. I believe in sharing deep learnings with others. I believe in putting off ANYTHING I am doing if a friend says they need me. The reason I began blogging was to meet like minded women...because I couldn't find them where I live. Relationships are two-sided. I take pride in speaking back to someone who spoke to me. I don't judge those who don't speak to me when I've spoken to them. But I also don't 'waste' a lot of time on them. I don't like to chase people around. If you want to be friends - I AM SO IN! If you don't - that's cool, I'll just find people who do.

Anyways, enough blah, blah......

Here's who I'd like to pass this award onto:


I'd really like to award it right back to Kim! Cause I heart her.


I wanted to revisit this post a little. I had a few extra thoughts about it.

I do not believe that we are all meant to reach the same exact level of 'self-confidence' that Maya or many others have. I think we're all different....different journeys, energy levels, starting points, 'parents', friends, talents, experiences, beliefs........

I truly believe that someone who started in a higher or more sturdy tree than I will probably get to a 'higher' level than me. Someone who started lower may not make it to where I do. Some people were blessed with parents who weren't too messed up with their own stuff to not mess up their kids. It's a better starting point than what some of us get. So, am I expected to reach the same level as someone who had 'good' parents? No.

I don't feel that the point of Life is to get to the absolute perfection of self-love (which includes believing in ourselves which helps us to shine our own light).....if you know me, than you know how much I believe in BALANCE. I have days (sometimes many in a row) when I feel confident in myself and what I create. And then there are the days when I just don't. I don't know what the purpose of those 'bad' days are other than to really make the 'good' days shine even brighter. I make it through them, I mean, I'm still here and creating. I don't like them. I don't like the way they feel inside. But they ARE. I know all the counter-moves against them, sometimes they chase away that yuck, sometimes they don't. Sometimes I just take a nap.

I also believe that self-love (like many other 'things') is something that we learn and then lose and learn and forget and remember and deny and re-capture and throw away and find all over again. Perhaps some of us have it and always keep it.....I just don't know those people. And I'm perfectly okay with not being one. I'm me and I feel the way I do. There is an ecstasy to that.

~Mmmmm turkey soup~

ps: Glad to be back among you creatively alive beings! Missed you. Huggles!!!!!