Thursday, November 20, 2008

Kim told me to

Did ya'll see this?

Here's some shining light just for you.

Yesterday, I was doing more of this......

and I was thinking this........

I love everything about writing, the paper I use, what I say, the cute stuff I draw, the fun stuff I include. I make the bestest snail mail! Is that okay to say? Sure it is....I am allowed to LOVE my own creations. I am allowed to ~Shine My Own Light~ and be proud of it!!!!!!

Reading Kim's blog reminded me of this - a conversation between Oprah and Maya Angelou:

O: So when you hear someone being modest....

MA: I run like hell. The minute you say to a singer, "Would you sing?" and they say, "Oh no. I can't sing here," I say, "Oops! I wonder, where is that train to Bangkok?"

O: Because?

MA: Because that person is not reliable. She may not know it, but modesty speaks volumes about falseness.

O: Pretending.

MA: Lying.

Wow.....Lying...that's where she took it. At first I didn't agree, but the more I thought about and boiled it down....well, I saw her point. If someone can sing and won't sing, what does that mean? That person is holding something back. There is something there. They aren't able to, for whatever reason, be open, up front, or honest about Who They Are. In base terms (I love to get down to the base of something), not being truthfull, in any sense, is lying.

Perhaps that person was crushed by someone else or more likely a lot of someone else's and this has caused a lack of self-confidence. I can totally relate. I believe this was the reason that I didn't agree at first......I've been crushed by a ton of someone else's so far - my parents, my siblings, my lovers, my friends, my co-workers, my bosses, blah, blah, blah. Their lack of care caused me to question myself and my worth deeply and torture myself without mercy to the point when I was broken-hearted (you know that deep physical pain in your chest like someone tore something out?) and all I could do was lay around like a pathetic lump watching tv and sleeping. That's real. I don't believe in the "people can't make you feel" this way or that. I've had them do it. If it wasn't possible, than children who are abused would never feel that it was their own fault. I truly feel that you have to have some confidence in Who You Are to begin with to avoid that.

I pride myself in being an honest person (If I like you, you know. If I don't like you, you know.) and the thought that my shy'ness, my lack of self-confidence, my 'modesty' - in reality - IS LYING. WOW. I'm lying to myself, I'm lying to everyone else when I don't believe in me or what I create or what I do or say or WHO I AM. I didn't want to see myself as unreliable and a liar.....that's why I couldn't agree with Maya.

At some point, I decided to believe in myself and my very personal expedition into Life, so that's what I do now, mostly. I'm sure I'll be crushed again. I know I shouldn't allow others or even my own self to stop me from being the wonderfull, wildly whimsical, witchy woman of the woods that I AM, but sometimes I do. And that's okay. It's all part of the 'game.' If there weren't times that I didn't 'Shine my light,' I wouldn't know when I was. I am in the 'bubble' of shining my light.............

I am fabulous, wonder-full, amazing, beautiful, caring, honest, talented, wise, loving and lovable! I create cute, lovely, exciting, magickal, color-full, fantastic, gorgeous, use-full, smart creations!

I'd like to shine someone else's light too: 2nd Surf

She made this for me. I am in the loving space of it.

Oh, and about that snail mail: one is for a person who's hot for hearts and one is for a person who's coo-coo for cats. They'll be mailed on Saturday. I hope they delight your spirits!!!!

I wish you all......

~Love and Light~