Monday, September 29, 2008

Three's Fabulous

I love great weekends when you really don't do anything 'special', but while you're in it you already know "This is a GREAT weekend!" It was a rainy Saturday - we (Tristan, Stu, and I)went to some craft stores and food shopping. That's it. But we laughed about everything. Those two are just so funny. Apparently none of us could talk right, so we kept saying words in a weird way - we'd all laugh about it. Then we have our reserve of movie and tv show lines we spit out when appropriate. Then there's our special reserve of things that we say or other people say or things that we do or that happen. It's like living a comedy routine. We see people around us laughing too - they're listening to us talk amongst ourselves. I adore my little family of three (plus the four cats). They've made my life. When I die and they ask me what my favorite thing was ~ it's going to be them. I enjoy being around them immensely. This is us a few years ago at the park where we used to live. I'm going to miss her being around every day when she grows up ~ but as totally fantastic as she is now, I'm really interested to see who she becomes.

Yesterday, we all worked on a project together. Tristan wanted to make a duvet cover for her blanket. A couple months ago we bought a sewing machine and material. Now that the weather is changing we're getting around to doing 'inside' projects. Anyways, not only did it turn out beautifully, but we had a fun time doing it. It was pretty easy too. She wanted zebra print. The reverse side is pink with tiny yellow stars. At the open end are ribbons to hold the blanket inside, well inside. Next project is a shower curtain. I'll let you know how that turns out.

We spotted this 'guy' on the side of the garage.
We also have a new neighbor.

He lives under the corner of our cement patio.

I'm making butternut squash soup for lunch. Mmmmm. I am in love with cool weather cooking.


Friday, September 26, 2008

When things flow

I don't know why, but 'things' have been going my way recently. Mostly in the area of painting/creating. I'm pleased, I'm thrilled, I feel I'm finally finding ~my~ way. What a sigh of relief a time such as this brings. Something inside shifted by the way of a few 'new' thoughts I've had recently. I have everything I need in this life ~ meaning, if someone else has something that I don't's because they need it...for whatever reason...I can convince myself that I need it and cause myself a ton of pain...or I can say, "Spirit says I don't need it and the proof is that it isn't here right now." I can want certain things, maybe I'll get them, maybe I won't, but I do not need them, they are not a requirement in my journey ~ for me to get where I'm supposed to, to do what I'm supposed to, to do what I want to with my time, or to create a feeling of well-being in myself....I already have all I need. I can cry out to Spirit and say, "Where is this? I need it!", but this only creates feelings of "not having", of not being cared for (by Spirit or anyone else), of worth'less'ness, of point'less'ness, and a general lack of interest in the journey. And Spirit is just there shaking Her head, going, "You so don't need that. Please just believe that you have all you need for this journey, you always do." So, perhaps part of the shift is that instead of focusing on what I feel I need and don't have that others seem to, I am focusing on my work, on what I want to do, accomplish, experience. I think I was "here" before, but I'm climbing back into the tree, only this time I am able to go higher.

Anyways, I finished the painting ~ I totally adore it! I still have to 'frame' it, but the painting part is done man.

A closer view of Her.

A view of the words. "She longed to touch the fragrant open~ness of the bloom."

It isn't complete in this picture, but it looks so good in my studio with my other belongings scattered around. My studio rocks. After I clean it up (it gets so messy in the creation process), I'll post some more pictures of it.

So, I'm in the ~flow~ all flowy. Things are working. I even used the sewing machine I bought a few months ago and it worked for me! Exactly the way I wanted it to. I haven't used a sewing machine since high school (gosh that's 18 years ago - wow) and even then it was only once or twice. My other recent attempts went pretty badly, so I was kinda losing faith/confidence. I can't take credit for it though, I swear things are going too well to be under my power ~ there are forces at work. (Thank you with a gracefully low sweeping bow.)

I think another thing that helped me was watching "Under the Tuscan Sun" - again. The Ladybugs. The idea of 'living spherically ~ in all directions.' They were the precursors or initiators of the idea of not needing what I thought I needed. I love it when a movie (even one I've seen more than 20 times) can shift the journey into a more positive place.

I'm off to do some more sewing. I think a fern just waved at me.

~New thoughts leading to The Flow~

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Coughing cats

I was woken up about an hour ago (currently it's 6 am) by a cat coughing next to my head. I petted him and then curled back up. He kept coughing. Half asleep, I reached over to pet him again, but my hand met with a strange object. Turned out it was my husband's face.

"Oh, that's you. Sorry."

"Uh huh" half laughing.

There was no going back to sleep after that. So here I am (the only living boy in New York....sorry been listening to Simon and Garfunkel).

Working on a best work to date (as far as shading goes). I'm really in love with it, which is good for me. I feel different somehow. I'll probably finish it by the end of the day, so I'll put pictures up later.

Solanco Fair ~ I entered the journal and box (pictured somewhere below). Strange thing. The journal won 3rd place....although there was no 1st or 2nd place. No competition. Apparently they thought two empty spots of nothing was better than my journal. Or perhaps they cannot count. Personally, I'm banking on the not being able to count. I can't really count either, that's why I married an accountant. ;) The box also won 3rd place. At least there was a 1st and 2nd place this time. I liked my stuff better, but perhaps I am biased. Whatever, next.....

Chipmunks have been collecting birdseed like crazy. They stuff their faces and then run away with puffy cheeks. Ca-ute. One day, I'd like to be able to feed them from my hand. My daughter, Tristan, says she wants to hug them - I said, "Good luck." Our cats don't even really like us hugging them, but we hug them anyway. Hey, we pay for their food and clean up their crap....literally. They owe us.

~Forced cat hugs~

Monday, September 22, 2008

Rowie Ambrosea-o: Perpetual Winker, Snoring Champion

This is Rowan Ambrose. He's the alpha male of our pack of four cats. He's got a cute little freckle on his nose, a tiny white spot between his shoulder blades, and a small patch of hair that sticks up on his head like Alfalfa. He's perfect. There's one question everyone always asks when they meet him.

What happened to his eye? He was born an outside cat on land that was owned by a local veterinarian. The family noticed that he had an infection in his eye, but he was so afraid of them, they couldn't get a hold of him. When they finally did get him, it was too late to save his eye. It was removed and sewed up. I don't think he really knows the difference. He still closes it if the area gets touched. The only time he has a 'problem' with it is when we sneak up on his right side and scare him, cause he can't see us until he turns his head. But it's cute cause he makes a little squeaky sound. Sometimes I wonder what the other cats think about it. They probably think what I do....he's just perpetually winking!

When I met him, he was about 3 months old. I came home from work on a Friday night. My daughter's friends walked up to us with this tiny tan ball of fur with purple stitches in his eye. I knew he had to belong to someone....who would let a one eyed kitten outside? He had to have run away. I took him inside and the girls went door to door asking who he belonged to. No one claimed him. I called another vet (not the one the 'owner' worked at, but for the life of me I have no idea why I did that now) who said they had a phone number of someone who lost a tan male kitten with one eye. Had to be him. I called them all weekend, but apparently they were away. By Sunday we loved him. My daughter (she was just a little girl then) wanted to keep him. So, when the 'owners' contacted me and said he was an outside cat, I asked if we could keep him. They thought it over and decided they didn't want to be selfish and keep him if he could have an inside home. We never figured out how he got all the way from their house (which was several miles away) to my house. I know it was meant to be. Me and him were meant to be together.

My daughter loves to dress the cats up. Rowan is a good sport about it.

Here's some shots of Fred....that's what we call Rowan's belly. I don't know why he sits like this...none of the other cats do, but it's super adorable. Sometimes he sits like that for 10 minutes. He's a weirdo. Currently, he is pulling the hair out of his belly because he's upset that there are outside cats coming onto our property. So Fred is partially bald. I keep telling him he needs to stop because the vet is going to say he's crazy and needs to take crazy pills. I don't think he's listening.

He looks like he was out drinking. Lousy drunk.....

Window gazing. Bird watching.

He's the laundry basket king!

This guy brings napping to an all new level. He could sleep anywhere, anytime...including a box lid. Well, unless the vacuum is running or someone knocks at the door, as he is terrified of both. He also is known for his snoring. Wakes me up sometimes, it's so loud.

"Mom, what? I'm sleeping......::yawn::"

He loves his sister.

Beggar of food.......

and don't ever leave a cup of milk unsupervised cause it will either have Rowan's head in it or it'll be on the floor with Rowan sitting around looking totally innocent. He loves corn...especially corn on the cob. He's like a maniac for it!

"So, what's'a madda with you?"
We name all our cats one official name, but then they also get nicknames. We're strange like that.
Here are some of Rowan's names - Rowan (little red one) Ambrose (eternal) - we usually only use his middle name when he gets into trouble, Ro-Ro, Bubba, Bubbie, Bear (sometimes Bubba Bear), Pumpkin, Rowie Ambrosea-o, Ditten or Mr. Ditten (like Kitten with a D) (which my husband forgot once and said, "What do you call him, Dittle?" which created another name for him), Dittle or Mr. Dittle, Ditt, Mommy's baby Rowan. I think there might be more, but I'm at a loss right now. It gives you an idea though. Funny thing is that he knows all his names. I can't forget to mention Fred again, Rowan's belly, but I didn't do that one...that was all my daughter.
I sing to him, the same tune, but usually I made up the words as I go along. My husband says Rowan has his own theme song. As you can see from all the pictures, he's totally photogenic!
One more thing.....I love him, no, I LOVE him.
~Rowan forever~

Sunday, September 21, 2008


I just wanted to say YAY ~ I got comments!! Such a little thing, but made me happy. Thanks to the local ladies.

I'm off to do laundry. yay.


Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Fuzzy milkshakes

I finished the painting I was working on. Here 'tis. I'm in the liking of it. All of my energy is concentrated on the not allowing of any negative thoughts about my work to swarm around in my head and create a village. A closer view of Her.
A closer view of the words ~ At midnight she leaned back, relished the moment, and was beauty come alive.

I just wanted to note that I cannot stand the fuzzy foam that collects on the top of milkshakes, but I adore chocolate milkshakes none the less. I drink as many as I can.
~With whipped cream on top~

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Dirty feet, magick mugs

Last night I took my first Yoga class. I've done yoga at home, alone, but never in a class setting. While laying down and stretching my arms above my head, I touched a woman's feet. heehee. My daughter said "Eww" ~ she hates feet. Didn't bother me. They're just feet. Why do we get so grossed out by other people's body parts? Perhaps we fear that they aren't 'clean'. Society worries about 'clean' way too much. Now a~days, it's throw away this and throw away that. All in an order to never be 'dirty', have anything 'dirty', or touch anything 'dirty'. I watch commercials try to make people paranoid. This morning I saw one with a woman and a boy brushing their teeth. The woman accidentally sprayed the mirror with her toothbrush. What to do? Well, she just grabbed a antibacterial wipey that doesn't streak and wiped that mirror clean. Personally, I wondered why the mirror had to be sterilized from bacteria. Is she planning on eating off it later? They try to scare people into buying this unnecessary product and don't forget that one too. Sad thing is that many people do buy into it. Look lady, get yourself some white vinegar and an old newspaper. Everything will be fine.

My favorite mug. It has chips, but I still sip from its lip. I've had it so long that I don't remember where I got it. But I do know that when I first saw it, I had to have it. Inside, the pink swirls around and around, ring after ring, until it reaches the bottom, leaving a circle. My magick mug makes everything just taste better.

Perhaps one day it will be gone. Or it will have so many chips that I can't use it in the same way. Maybe it will outlast me. Don't know. I just know today we'll spend the morning together. I'll cherish it. It will cherish my love.

The Solanco Fair is this week. So, tonight I will be entering two items for 'judging'. A journal and a decoupaged box. Last year I won first prize in both categories.

Above is a view of the bottom of the box and partial side. I do adore these items. The colors are so rich. Every time I make one I selfishly want to keep it for myself. A few of my journals can be found at LunarChild's . In the future, I hope to have an Etsy shop.

A painting I did a few months ago.

I'm in love with everything about this woman.

I long to live the way she does.....with the ebb and flow of a wild spirit!

~Paint stained hands~


Monday, September 15, 2008

Struggles, bugs, and sunsets

This is a part of the painting I'm working on. The fabric sucked up the colors. It accepted them, embraced them, allowed them to alter how it looks. The fabric didn't say, "That's not good enough."

I struggle so much with how I feel about my art. I begin with an idea. I draw it. I like it. I continue. I paint it. I fall in love with parts or pieces or even with the whole. Then time passes ~ maybe even just a minute ~ somewhere my "feelings/thoughts/beliefs" change. I see it as not good enough, childish, not as good as what I've seen other people create. I don't understand this process. I don't understand where it came from. How was this poison created in me? Why was it? What can I do to rid myself of it?

Ugh. It's very painful. I dislike it.

I wonder if other artists deal with this. Many times I see ones on TV who just love their own 'stuff.' I think that's great. I just wonder how they do it and if I can.

For now, I leave it. It's here. I accept it. One day I will discover its gifts. I move on.

~deep cleansing breath~ Next.....

My backyard. Every time I see this, I can't believe this is my view. We bought a house a year ago after living in apartments for years. It's mostly surrounded by woods. We have lots of animals that visit us. In the last year we've seen ~ many, many different kinds of birds, chipmunks, hawks, groundhogs, opossums, salamanders, praying mantises, skunks, snakes, frogs, one turtle (so far), bugs and bugs and bugs, squirrels, bats, deer, rabbits, mice (they live in the walls of the house cause if they came out our four cats would kill 'em) and one unidentified small furry, large eyed, nocturnal animal that came up on our steps one night. We've heard owls, but haven't seen any yet.

Last evening we had the A/C on so everything was closed up. We heard a loud bug sound. My husband, Stu, decided it must be in between the front door and the screen door. Sure enough, when we opened the door there was a bug there. Unfortunately it was BIG and flew in the house right at us. The cats were trying to get it. Then they scattered because we started screaming and running while flailing our arms because the darn thing was coming after us. It didn't seem accidental either. He was chasing us around the house. He landed on the floor. Miss Binx Bianca Bedazzle jumped right into action to which we all yelled, "NO." We're bug savers. Instead of getting to kill and eat the bugs our cats get treats. They do their job very well, so we keep the companies who make cat treats in business.

Anyways, Stu used his trusty plastic container with its sidekick bigger plastic lid to catch the guy and put him outside. He walked away from the patio and dropped him on the sidewalk. The bug crawled around a little. But wasn't flying like inside. I said, "Is he hurt?" Stu leaned over and said, "No, I think he's alright." Next thing I know the bug is flying again, first right at Stu, then making a b-line for me. So, we started screaming again. The next door neighbor's dogs started barking. They were probably wondering what was going on.

Wife neighbor "What are they doing now?"

Husband neighbor "I don't know (rolling his eyes). I think they're running from a bug. Ha, ha."

One more picture.....last night's show.

~Mesmerizing Sunsets~


Thursday, September 11, 2008

I covet balance

From my journal ~

The sun has been slow to show up today. Not me. BAM! I was out of the gate and getting things done. Dishes, laundry...I even cleaned the litter boxes and that's not even my job man! At times, I wish I was like this every day. But I am not. And that is OK - because there is a balance to my life. I covet BALANCE! I have no desire to be all of something and not something else. I believe deeply ~ penetrating'ly ~ in balance. I am not 'glass half empty.' I am not 'glass half full.' I say, "It is gloriously both at the same time!" YAY.

So, to those days when the dishes are piled up and the laundry over-flows, I say this...

Do not worry, for today your counterpoint has arrived!

yucky feeling.

I spent all day yesterday on the computer looking at other women's blogs (gosh there are some super cute places!), messing around with my own, and copying pictures from the computer to disks. Yes, I am STILL doing that. Who knew it would take so long? And I'm only in 2006! Ugh.

Today, I have a time limit. There is a painting that is calling my name, wanting me to touch it with brushes and paint (perhaps a little dye as well). Mmmmm....painting!

~Fuzzy kitten hugs~

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Do it now!

The dream: I am walking down the street and notice beautiful clothing hanging on a street sign. I assume it is free. I try to touch it. A Native American man removes what I wanted. I now realize it isn't free when I catch a glimpse of the price tag, as a matter of fact it is expensive. I am worrying about getting out of buying something.

Thankfully a conversation between my husband and daughter saves me from spending more money than I want to, but it provides me a whole new issue: A year's worth of movies and shows saved on our DVR is corrupt and needs to be deleted {period}. No saving them. No recording them like we kept saying we were going to do. Gone, just gone. Not a darn thing we can do about it but take it. The last season of Lost is well, lost. Star Wars Family Guy, Robot Chicken Star Wars special - . I don't even want to try to remember what else was on there. What's the point? It's gone and I can't get it back. Also gone is the schedule set up to record the shows we like. It'll take me some time and some brain power, but I can reset that. It's just annoying. "Computers" - grrrrr.

Why did we so stupidly keep putting off recording all those movies and shows when it would have been so easy to do so? Laziness. Plain old laziness. In the future, we will refer to this, The Great Hard Drive Crash of '08, and the resulting protocol : If you want to keep something....USE THE DVD RECORDER WE SPENT LOTS OF MONEY ON AND RECORD IT! and if you really like it and are just a little paranoid...make a copy too.

A few good things have come out of it:

1) I love that I've grown ~ many, many moons ago I would have been upset/mad about this. Today, I'm like "It happened, it's gone, all gone, being upset won't change anything but make me have a bad day."

2) I am FINALLY getting around to copying many, many years worth of pictures that are saved on this computer. I've been scared into it!

3) This incident will become part of our repertoire - "You'd better copy that....remember what happened during The Great Hard Drive Crash of '08"???" It was kinda funny too cause I was on the phone with my hubby just as I was getting ready to delete everything. He said, "Put the phone near the DVR." I hear him say "Semper Fi" which is part of our Simpsons repertoire. Made me laugh.

4) Dish Network gave us 20 bucks! :)

Strange that this happened, the other day while having a conversation about the fact that my daughter's teacher was making her write a report instead of typing it, I remembered a time I spent all night typing a report only to have the computer freeze before I saved it. Perhaps I learned the lesson for good this time. ~ crossing fingers ~