Friday, September 26, 2008

When things flow

I don't know why, but 'things' have been going my way recently. Mostly in the area of painting/creating. I'm pleased, I'm thrilled, I feel I'm finally finding ~my~ way. What a sigh of relief a time such as this brings. Something inside shifted by the way of a few 'new' thoughts I've had recently. I have everything I need in this life ~ meaning, if someone else has something that I don't's because they need it...for whatever reason...I can convince myself that I need it and cause myself a ton of pain...or I can say, "Spirit says I don't need it and the proof is that it isn't here right now." I can want certain things, maybe I'll get them, maybe I won't, but I do not need them, they are not a requirement in my journey ~ for me to get where I'm supposed to, to do what I'm supposed to, to do what I want to with my time, or to create a feeling of well-being in myself....I already have all I need. I can cry out to Spirit and say, "Where is this? I need it!", but this only creates feelings of "not having", of not being cared for (by Spirit or anyone else), of worth'less'ness, of point'less'ness, and a general lack of interest in the journey. And Spirit is just there shaking Her head, going, "You so don't need that. Please just believe that you have all you need for this journey, you always do." So, perhaps part of the shift is that instead of focusing on what I feel I need and don't have that others seem to, I am focusing on my work, on what I want to do, accomplish, experience. I think I was "here" before, but I'm climbing back into the tree, only this time I am able to go higher.

Anyways, I finished the painting ~ I totally adore it! I still have to 'frame' it, but the painting part is done man.

A closer view of Her.

A view of the words. "She longed to touch the fragrant open~ness of the bloom."

It isn't complete in this picture, but it looks so good in my studio with my other belongings scattered around. My studio rocks. After I clean it up (it gets so messy in the creation process), I'll post some more pictures of it.

So, I'm in the ~flow~ all flowy. Things are working. I even used the sewing machine I bought a few months ago and it worked for me! Exactly the way I wanted it to. I haven't used a sewing machine since high school (gosh that's 18 years ago - wow) and even then it was only once or twice. My other recent attempts went pretty badly, so I was kinda losing faith/confidence. I can't take credit for it though, I swear things are going too well to be under my power ~ there are forces at work. (Thank you with a gracefully low sweeping bow.)

I think another thing that helped me was watching "Under the Tuscan Sun" - again. The Ladybugs. The idea of 'living spherically ~ in all directions.' They were the precursors or initiators of the idea of not needing what I thought I needed. I love it when a movie (even one I've seen more than 20 times) can shift the journey into a more positive place.

I'm off to do some more sewing. I think a fern just waved at me.

~New thoughts leading to The Flow~