Wondrous Wild Wanderings

End of the year, end of this blog

2009-01-05T05:02:00.000-08:00

but don't worry.....it's also, start of the new year, start of the new blog. I'm done with the wandering and onto more magickal pursuits. I've been planning this for weeks. This is 'Major Change' number 1.

Thank you blog for bringing all that you have ~ lovely, inspiring, friendly, fun women ~ a new found respect for myself and what I can do with this life I've been given ~ AND more YAY than I hoped for! Thank you friends for all of your wonderful comments, thoughts, wishes, sharings, and YAY's. It's meant a lot to me and to my journey.

Please visit me at my new blog "A Magickal Melis" (A - because I'm one, Magickal - because I am pure magick (so are we all even if we don't know we are), and Melis - short for Melissa).

I hope to see ya'll there.

~Goddess Glow~
Melissa

It was a good day

2009-01-02T05:12:00.000-08:00

and it's still going to be one.

Deep breath.

Anyways, I wanted to pop in and say HI LOV~E~LEES! Hubby has been off for the past week, plus....so I won't be able to get to any of those changes until at least next week. Got lots of work to do. And currently, lots of breaths to take and release.

I'm so thrilled that we've met. I bow deeply to you for your wisdom, beauty, clever'ness, inspiration, comments, wishes, support ~ oh, just for every single thing! Ya'll ROCK!!

I wish you all fantastical happenings in 2009!!!! YAY US!

I'm borrowing this from Queen Kim cause it tasted so good when I got it....

~Cocoa Hugs~
Melissa

Christmas Goodies

2008-12-28T16:48:00.000-08:00

Finally, my Secret Santress can be revealed ~ Jennlui! YAY! I received her package several days before Christmas, but decided to wait until Christmas morning to open it. I've heard comments like "How could you wait?" Let me explain....I wasn't getting many surprise gifts, usually I do all the shopping, even for myself (I make things too easy for Hubby - but that's going to change in the future) SO.....I wanted to have something that was a surprise. That's how I could wait. ;)

Onto the loot:

Jennlui sent me many of her specialties: trinketty treasures like these........CHARMS! (I'll talk more about this later ;)

and these

and THISIt's so succulent, so juicy with sparkle that the pictures just don't do it justice - it's golden sparkly'ness is surely slurp-able!!!!
It's the Mandala of Time and comes with this quote:
"When we are really honest with ourselves, we must admit our lives are all that really belong to us. So, it is how we use our lives that determine the kind of people we are." Cesar Chavez

What fantastic surprises!!!!! Abundant Appreciation Jennlui!!!!! It's fabulous. I couldn't have asked for anything better. Big squeezles to you!!

I also received another surprise: Sandy sent me this witchy woman by FairyLover17. Check her etsy shop out cause her stuff is super lovely!

Isn't she pure magickal beauty? She reminded me how magickal I am (it's part of the major changes that are coming ;). Great Gratitude Sandy - what a lovely surprise and truly thoughtfull of you. Big squeezles!!

Also, you probably noticed this in the background of the shell picture: Yes, I received SARK's new book. Haven't really gotten into it yet, but I'm sure it's as edible as her others.

Hubby did surprise me with these:

"Down in Fraggle Rock (clap, clap)" Love them! I so remember singing that song on the elementary school playground. I don't know why, he's so grumpy, but Boober was always my favorite. Perhaps cause I was young and his name was BOOBer. haha!

"Down in Fraggle Rock!" Love them! I so remember singing that song on the elementary school playground. As a matter of fact, check this out......

Hubby and I went to an 80's themed Halloween party several years ago. I made the 'hair' and his shirt (it's just a white button-up painted with acrylic). The three of us worked on the tails (which you can't see in the picture, but they're there). I like Hubby's spiked hair.

Here's some gifts I received from my in-laws. Gorgeous calendar: Enchanted Dreams with artwork by Kristina Swarner

Looking forward to February - that one is my favorite
AND more charms! These three are created by Green Girl Studios

This one is by Earthenwood Studio

It's funny cause last month Jennlui sent me a birthday package with three elephant charms. I mentioned then that I've always wanted a charm bracelet. Now, these charms were bought earlier in Oct and my birthday is in November - so, it's not as if they read it on my blog. It just happened. MAGICK! Not only that, but yesterday I cleaned out my studio - I so wanted a really fresh start to the new year cause I have lots of plans and organization really helps ward off being overwhelmed - anyways, I found more and more charms.....see

and even after that I found more charms (not pictured)! This is going to be one kick butt charm bracelet!!!!! Thanks to the "charming" people in my life. ;) Making this bracelet is a goal of mine for 2009.

Last, but certainly not least is this also from my in-laws

Isn't it tea-riffic?? I love, Love, LOVE it!! As a matter of fact, Hubby was kind enough to wash it and I'm already doing this

~Yum, hot chocolate~

Melissa

Some magickal discoveries

2008-12-27T03:56:00.000-08:00

Hi! Hope you had a fantastic Christmas. We did! The babies had a blast playing in all that wrapping paper. Santa brought them each a can of 'Fancy Feast.' Even the birds and their competition, the squirrels, had a ~fancy feast~ peanut butter covered with nuts and seeds.

I saw this in-cased in ice on the front patio on Tuesday. Happy Face!

Magick climbed the tree - all the way to the top with the Angel, as matter of fact. Hubby was worried about him falling. I said, "Let him fall, he'll learn his lesson and not climb to the top anymore." Gosh I love being clever. A few moments later, Magick promptly tumbled head over tail out of the tree. Hubby tried to cushion his fall with one hand, as the camera was in the other documenting Magick's Quest to get the Angel. He hasn't climbed to the top since. ;) But now that I've said that, he'll be doing it in a moment I'm sure. :)

Christmas morning: The wormers woke me up early, after I didn't go to sleep until late (gosh my creative juicy'ness has been running all over :). At first, I wasn't very happy. But then I noticed I was been greeted with this. Mmmmmm, sunrise colored yummy'ness.

I've seen this before, but I wanted to share it with ya'll cause coming from where I lived before, I never thought I'd see something like this. Look out the window. (notice the curtains hiding from the kittens haha)

Do you see it?

No? Perhaps I'll zoom in a little. Do you see it now?

It's horses standing in a field that is through our woods, over the neighbors field, across the street, past the other neighbors houses, and up on the hill. That's the place where I first see the sun this time of year.

This moment is my favorite though. I noticed it the other day and mentioned it to Hubby. But the thought of recording it didn't come to me until last night just before I went to sleep at midnight. I knew after today, I wouldn't be hearing it anymore (as least until I figure out how to rig up something cool :).

Instructions for 'viewing.' There is nothing to see, so close your eyes and listen to this. Hear it. Soak up this precious moment I discovered in my life.

~Rain Powered Music~
Melissa

ps: BTW, that sound on the video is rain falling on old cat food cans we've been too lazy to pick up (until today). What an Awesome World, where even 'trash' contains beauty!! YES!!!!

ps again: I think I might be making some major changes (Major Changes - sorry, How I Met Your Mother reference slipped out) around here. But I've got some more work to do and some more thinking....I'll tell you about it later. :)

Happy 2 month Birthday Wormers!

2008-12-23T05:59:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, those squirmy wormers turned 2 months old! YAY! They are all doing wonderfully. They play almost non-stop and keep me up half the night. But they are so worth it. And YES, Jennlui, they have taken over the whole house and our lives completely. They make me laugh. I remember when they were just teeny-tiny.

A Pile of Kittens

Cleo and Twix (just born)

Remember this picture of the tiny wormer leg and tail next to Zoe's leg and tail?

Their legs don't look like that anymore. I miss their fold'y ears. Here's some recent photos. Most of them are sleeping - have you ever tried to take a 'not-blurry' picture of a kitten who is awake? Nearly impossible.

Cleo

Twix

Twix and Uncle Pug - who used to be terrified of the babies! He's made progress. YAY Uncle Pug!

Twix with Uncle Dittle - who has also made progress. The 'big' cats are doing so much better with the babies than I imagined. I suppose they have no choice, they're out-numbered. ;)

Magick and Uncle Dittle's butt

Pirate - he's almost always sleeping in a funny position.

Pop-Tart - the scaredy cat of the bunch. We have a laser pointer. Everyone loves it. Poppy? He runs and hides. :)

Sometimes it's like a frat party gone wrong (or right, depending on your view). This was "Saturday morning after their Friday night party".

From the left - Pop~Tart, Cleo, Twix, Magick, Pirate

This was "Sunday morning after their Saturday night party".

And this was "Monday morning."

Happy mini-Birthday Squirmers! Hope there are many, many, many more!

~Kitten Snuggles~

Melissa

PS: I found out who my Secret "Santress" is ~ :) , but just in case, I won't say yet.....don't want to ruin it for anyone else. And I didn't fully open the package yet, I peeked a lil, but I'm waiting until Christmas morning. YAY!!!! Thank you Secret Santress!! xoxo

Music Monday: Peppy'ness and Sunshine!

2008-12-22T07:04:00.000-08:00

I'm following in the lovely footsteps of Jennlui - I've got Thank~full Thursday and now....Music Monday.

Music has always been tremendously important to my journey. I'd like to share some of what I dance my way through life to.

The first time I heard my daughter play this song, I LOVED it. Made her play it so many times in a row that she got annoyed with me. :) I hope you enjoy it's happy energy as much as I do. How can anyone not get rocked out by an awesome saxophone solo? It's a fun video too.

So Much Love by The Rocket Summer

And in honor of our returning Sun ~

Have a beautiful fantastic day!

~You've got so much love in you~
Melissa

Sensational Sandy Tagged Me

2008-12-21T05:12:00.000-08:00

Sandy, who Shares her Balance, tagged me. The request is to list five things I do to stay mentally healthy.

1) Play - Hubby and I like to play video games together. Usually we choose games where we can be cooperative - not against each other...that usually leads to him getting hit in the arm. ;)

2) I don't allow my mind to think about negative situations - There are situations, mostly from the past, that I have a tendency to go over and over and over in my mind. Truly it's just another way to beat myself up. This past summer, I learned to control my mind better. When I catch myself thinking or reenacting an upsetting situation (you know, the shoulda, coulda, woulda's, defending my actions, beliefs, thoughts), I stop and say to myself, "I've already examined this situation many times. I know why I 'did, said, blah' what I 'did, said, blah'. What I 'did, said, blah' is what is best for me." Sometimes, even only a few minutes later I catch my brain going over it again....I just follow the same pattern. There are times when I do allow myself to get into it a little cause the anger of the situation has opened up again, so time to clean it out and put a band-aid on. ;)

3) I eat chocolate or take a nap when I feel blue for no 'real' reason and can't shake it with anything else (like dancing to a peppy song).

4) I talk to myself - not like crazy 'bag-lady' talk - positive, encouraging, bring me back to balance talk. For example:

The other day, I was looking at our house. The kittens are messy lil buggers....we need to vacuum every day. So, it's out of sorts with litter boxes every where (normally they are in the laundry room, but we're keeping them out of there - too many things for them to get into) and cat food in the living room. Even without them, this isn't the house I dreamed of living in. It's a small gray/green rectangle. Inside, it's much larger than you'd think, but again, not exactly a magazine picture.

Now, all that said - here is how I respond to myself:

Our house is surrounded by about 1 1/2 acres of woods and 1 1/2 acres of open land , which is exactly what we wanted. There's a huge, 3 car garage with lots and lots of storage room. There's a third bedroom which is my studio. Two bathrooms - the master has a shower and a corner tub (which I adore!), good sized closets, lots of windows with lovely views, a fireplace, a huge kitchen with loads of counter space and storage, a laundry room with a washer and a dryer. It's very quiet here. We're on top of a large hill (which does make driving up our gravel driveway interesting) so we have an awesome view for miles and miles ("I can see for miles and miles"). There's loads of wildlife (we heard two creeping around in the woods last night). Our neighbors, although are not friendly to the point where we're friends, they are super nice and have helped us many times! It's warm, dry, safe, and mine.

"No, it isn't all you wanted....but it's all YOU need to live a good and happy life - that's what's important. :)"

5) I make art. I can tell (other than just that I know) when I haven't been creative for a few days - I feel down, grumpy, just mentally yucky. A sense of accomplishment can go a long way, even if what I make goes no further than my own backyard, so to speak, feeling like I did something with the time I've been given is important to me feeling healthy.

So, there it is! Thank you Sandy, not only for thinking of me, but for giving me something to write about. :)

So, who to tag.......Kim, the absolute Queen of Arts, The Creatively Divine, Rose, and Serena, who Dreams with the Fishies.

~Snow Covered Birds~
Melissa

Thank~full Thursday

2008-12-18T06:21:00.000-08:00

I know the power of thank~ful'ness, but often 'forget' to spend active time focusing on all the 'things' I am thank~full for. I used to do this more often....but I've gotten out of the habit. As a result, I have noticed that my attitude has shifted back toward the negative side. So in order to regain some balance, I'm going with "Thank~full Thursday."

I am thank~full for:

*Getting this post written. I don't know why, but I have been having so much trouble even saying anything at all. There's some kind of block there. But, YAY, I wrote a post! (it's funny, I wrote this one first, before I was done, and now, here I am...done!)

*In door plumbing. A thousand blessings to all that came up with that idea and put it into place!

*Litter boxes and litter - so our cats can do their 'business' and stay safely inside.

*Sex and the City - even though there aren't any new episodes....I still love to watch the old ones! How I Met Your Mother - smartest and funniest show I've ever seen!

*Music - right now it's the "Romancing the Stone" soundtrack - there's some cool jazzy tunes that I really like.

*Peanut butter and crackers and milk. It's not the best thing to eat, but it's something. Most of the time, I get so busy creating that I just don't eat. So, they're fast and they're easy.

*Trees....I still am captivated by looking out the windows and seeing all those trees, even when they are just skeletons of what they were several months ago.

*Money to buy Christmas presents and my hubby's job (even though it gets on my nerves sometimes).

*The ability to buy online!!!! and shop in my comfy pj's.

*Oh, there's one - PJ'S!! Love 'em! Live in 'em!

*Of course my hubby - for the kind spirit he is and for putting up with me as much as I put up with him. And daughter - for the awesome 17 year old that she is! She's been helping out around the house more without being asked. And for all the cats we can handle - the older cats are doing extremely well with the kittens and the kittens are so silly, they make me laugh!

* All the interesting, fun, real, creative, supportive, inspiring women I've met through this blog.

*Yesterday, while wandering around, like I do, I went to Serena's blog Dream with the Fishes and a super cute art piece caught my eye which lead me here, to Joanna Rowan Mullane's blog, Little Faerie Tales. As you can see from my sidebar, I signed up. ;)

* I'm still working on my Christmas exchange stuff. So far, so great! I am so happy with how it's all turning out. No pictures though, it's a surprise! :) I like it so much I actually thought about making some more and putting them up on Etsy. I'll have to see the final result first though. I'm a little nervous about the mailing though. But I am seriously so thank~full that it's turning out so nicely. YAY!

*Moonlight through trees, shining on my sleeping form.

*Me and my beautifull'ness and all my flaws.

*You and your beautifull'ness and all your flaws.

What are you thank~full for today?

~Warmth~
Melissa

Made for you blog

2008-12-16T07:02:00.000-08:00

While I was wandering around etsy, I came across a post about this blog.

http://madeforyoublog.blogspot.com/

I thought it was a really neat idea. I am always amazed by how creative people are and by the beautiful items they can make.

Plus, I was happily surprised to see Holly Hobbie again. I miss her. :) I learned something....I need to wear more clothes that look like this.

These are just amazing (period).

There are so many wonderful things in the world!!!! For me, this a moment that corrects all the crappy things that have happened lately. The world really does have some pretty cool things about it. I'm thankful to remember this.

~YAY Today~
Melissa

What's on my walls?

2008-12-12T04:56:00.000-08:00

Well, art of course! The pictures aren't the best, but I just wanted to share these.....

"She absolutely adores Her Precious Wild Self!"

"They came, from worlds unmapped. Their golden droplets of magick fell upon her cheeks. A glow immeasurable grew inside, each day a little bit more (Magick happens instantly over time. It's a matter of fact.) until the glorious day arrived when she was finally able to stand unabashedly naked in her truest self. Since that day, there are times she forgets or times she just can't, but they are eternally present and their golden droplets of magick never evaporate."

"Self Love elegantly adorns spirit!"

I heart her hair! Here's a close up. I used metallic paint, so it's a little hard to get a clean picture of it without the shimmer showing up.

These three are hooked together with wire.

"Growth happens Magickally"

"inner stillness is cultivated"

"Sunrise is a Miracle"

"The sea breeze lives forever inside this woman"

"Serenity nestled in her heart and changed the entire world"

This one is based off the idea of Alchemy - the chemistry of the Middle Ages, the chief aim of which was to change the baser elements into gold.

"As she grew, her base elements were given to her. In her middle ages, she turned into gold."

Today, I'm working on presents for the Christmas gift exchange.

~Ribbons and Bows~

Melissa

Wisdom and Struggle

2008-12-09T20:23:00.000-08:00

In my 36 years I have not yet reached a mountain of positivity that I constantly live on. I don't think I ever will. I just think it's kinda funny that no matter how many counter arguments I know to combat whatever uncomfortable'ness I experience, it doesn't always go away. Perhaps I don't really believe the counter arguments yet. Perhaps those feelings aren't always meant to go away, but to be greeted, sat with, felt, and embraced. I don't know how it will be then...I only know how it is now. This is how it was then.

*******

October 13, 2007

I am awake. It is still dark. Dawn is not yet awake. I am alone, yet I am not. I have nothing to write. There is an emptiness inside, but not the painfull emptiness I've experienced previously, it is rather a calm, quiet dark ~ just a cycle, natural ~ it speaks of a dawn yet to arise. Much like what's going on outside. It is very quiet...only the occasional tweet of the cricket. Will you speak to me now?

What would you like to speak about?

I'm thinking.

Do not think ~ feel. Now what do you wish to speak about?

I still don't know. We've already had conversations about 'things' I am concerned with and I don't want to repeat.

If you wish to revisit something, do not be concerned about it. I will never tire of speaking of any subject. Unlike most people you've met.

I still feel an emptiness - nothing'ness.

Shall we discuss that?

Sure, lets start there.

Many are uncomfortable with this nothing'ness. They need to feel and experience constantly. Yet they do not recognize that this stillness needs to be experienced as well - it needs/requires attention too. Why do humans feel uncomfortable with the silence, you're asking. I will tell you my opinion. 'You' are socialized by elders and peers to fear the quiet ~ it indicates that something is wrong. 'You' have been taught that it feels uncomfortable - and so 'you' feel uncomfortable about it or when 'you' encounter it. "There are 'things' to fear in this 'nothing'ness'," they've said. Like being afraid of the dark. 'You' just don't know what's there because 'you' can't SEE what's there. This is to be feared - The Unknown. Yet, what 'you' don't know is not to be feared, explored perhaps, but not feared, honored not feared. You've been thinking of this uncomfortable silence that you and T were discussing today. You were correct in saying that it has more to do with the inside than the out. Be comfortable with yourself and you'll be comfortable any where.

How do you 'be comfortable with yourself'? I struggle with this.

Yes, I know. I am aware of your struggles in this area. Here are some steps - Big steps. Perhaps there are only a few because what's involved in taking, gaining, and retaining the steps is so immense and confusing.

1) Release worry, fear, doubt, care, insecurity, and focus on the opinion of others.

2) Know Who You Are.

3) Put faith in #2.

4) Live

How do I complete #1 or rather, what is involved in #1?

You must understand that Life is like a TV show - everyone has a character, which provides them a script. Unless they have taken steps such as #2, they have no idea Who They Are...well, who they REALLY are - they are of the half-dead, other half asleep. Doesn't make for real consciousness does it? They are trapped in many of these societal well, trappings such as the basis of our discussion...uncomfortable'ness with emptiness. They have NO idea Who You Are. They spend no real soul power (I said that because they use brain power to arrive at their half-baked, half-cooked idea of you.) finding out Who You Are...they don't even know Who They Are, so they certainly wouldn't know Who You Are. Now, I ask you this....if someone spends no time in getting to really know Who You Are...does their opinion of You matter in the slightest?

No, I suppose it doesn't because there is so much that's gone into how I've become Me that even I don't know it all, but I understand a great deal.

If someone creates an opinion based off of either 1 action or a few things or based off of their brain powered thoughts - than their opinion doesn't matter at all. But I tell you this - in the grand scheme of 'things' ~ Life ~ ONLY YOUR OPINION OF YOU MATTERS! It is only your choice Who You Be (or become or are) so, why should any one else, who didn't have any of the choices that you've had and no control over the outcome get to 'say' a 'word' about You? Besides, the rest of 'us' are working on ourselves - we're much too busy and f'ed up, yes I said f'ed up to judge you, sweet dear! :) Isn't it relieving to know this information? If anyone else had control over Who You Are, than they should sit and be judged as well - and actually they will be - by themselves. Those others who contributed to your 'troubles' will judge themselves. Ah, you see, here is dawn. Please, I ask you this favor - Be pleased with Your Self! I am!! Very!! You would do much better to just be pleased in yourself and with Who You Are today! Do not concern yourself with those fools. They are already concerned enough about themselves. You do not need (or have) to add any more energy to their cause. Add energy to yours dear. I like, adore, and enjoy (yes, in joy) your cause. It's entirely special - you don't even know it fully yet - it has not revealed it self to you, but keep going and it soon will. Yay - I'm so excited for you!! You are remembering when that nurse said, "I'd buy that" about your adorably cute tea cup painting ~ Adrift on a tepid sea, asleep in the cup I used for tea. What are your kind of things? I'll list some....firelight, candlelight, light in the dark, light and the dark, together, warmth in the darkness, comfort in the darkness or rather the unknown, snuggled under an afghan or favorite blankie while the wind blows outside. The wind blowing leaves in the trees. A warm mug of something. Mmmmm, you're thinking of cookies. Yes, use that too. These are all great and deep comforts to the soul. So are fresh veggies and a healthy, yet tasty dinner. Use it all dear lovely girl. And get your hair cut if you want to. Be daring. Explore something that you haven't before. Don't worry about it not looking good. You've already imagined that you could wear many hats. THAT would be daring as well! Do it! Go! Be brave! Imagine that your body could look more different than it has ever before! You've always been afraid to dye your hair. Give that idea up. Give it away. Rid yourself of it. Let it go! Be free to dye your hair any color you wish! This is your chance to do so. Take it now. YES!

It's been good talking with you.

We shall speak again. Have a lovely day. In-joy it!

Thanks.

Unnecessary, but appreciated. XOXO - Love and adoration both ways!

*******

To be honest, I'm not sure who it is that I speak to when I have that type of conversation.....God, Goddess, Higher Self, some guide who travels with me. For me, it doesn't matter that I name it, only that I hear it. I try my best to.

Looking back on the 'conversation' from here, I noticed two things.....

1) the talk about my hair. I did cut and dye my hair, several colors (white blond, pink, and purple). I did have a specific fear about it, I said, "I'm afraid to dye my hair because I'll never get it back to my normal color." And here it is, long enough for me to cut off the dyed part and have short, funky 'regular' colored hair again. I had to be strong in this hair....cause some people were rude. Some stared at me, right in the face. Some people talked about me in a mean way like I wasn't even there or I couldn't hear them. Some people used my hair color as a way to attack my personality. I survived it all and still LOVED my hair! Didn't care for those particular people, but knew I was cool, hot, fun, funky, and BRAVE.

2) Everything I just said above was part of the "How to become comfortable with Your Self" list. It was all part of #1.....release worry, fear, doubt, care, insecurity, and focus on the opinion of others.

3) Onto step 2....Know Who You Are. I am not Woman with Purple Hair. I am Woman Who Can Have Purple Hair Among People Who Think It's Not Okay And Think It's More Than Okay, Know It's Wonderfull and Remember That's She's So Much More Than Purple Hair.

Who would have guessed that a very valuable life lesson was hidden in my hair. I thought I was just having fun.

~Tinselled Trees~

Melissa

Mail Call

2008-12-09T07:28:00.000-08:00

As you know, I've been really caught up in this cat stuff. They can really take over your life. Hubby said, "Do you ever feel like a slave to the cats?" I said, "Yeah, sometimes I feel like a slave to you and T too, but that's part of relationship."

Anyways, I've received several snail mail packages and I haven't even talked about them. So here goes:

I bought the most lovely necklace from Queen Kim. I am so looking forward to wearing it in the summer when it can actually be seen without jackets and sweaters over-powering it.

She also included her famous rocks (Their brothers and sisters have made it to Paris!)

and a "red-hot" blank note card (check it out here). (Also in this picture you can see the beautiful clasp of the mermie necklace.)

Then Super Sandy sent me this amazing Goddess face. I can't wait to paint her. (BTW, Sandy just opened her Etsy shop. YAY YOU!)

She also included these beach rocks. They're smooth, yet bumpy....black, yet white, but the best part is the tiny crystals embedded inside that catch the light. When my life slows down a lil bit, I plan on painting words on them.....beachy words like flow, breeze, warmth, sunshine. Yum. When spring comes back, they'll sit at the feet of Buddha in the yard.

One of my 'bad' days last week was seriously brightened with a belated trinkety birthday package from Jennlui. It arrived just when I needed it! Isn't that wonderfull? It held so many fabulous treasures that my heart burst with gratitude for Jennlui's generous nature. (She has a lovely Etsy shop too.)

Candles to warm my sacred space. The cutest tickets with wonderful words like Bliss, Giggle, and Live! A card with Ganesh's mantra. Little elephant and heart cut-outs. Pretty bags to keep trinkets in. And more of her lil cards with lovely pictures that I can share with others.

I HEART these elephants BIG! They will become part of a necklace or charm bracelet.

A bag packed full of the most gorgeous gold sequins. Ooooo, they'll surely add gobs of golden'ness to any project.

Fun Ganesh stickers (stickers rock!) and a bag of lovely beads, sparkly stars, and a moon.

WOW! My heart is overflowing Friends. Thank you Kim, Thank you Sandy, Thank you Jennlui for sharing these fantastic-beautiful-cute-creative-amazing items with me!!!! Thank you for being Who You Are. I look forward to seeing what creations show up with the help of all of this inspiration and love you've packaged up and mailed to lil ol me. :)

::Burp:: Excuse me, I'm totally FULL of snail mail FUN!

~Pitter Patter of tiny kitten feet on the kitchen floor~

Melissa

Breathing in....breathing out

2008-12-08T04:29:00.000-08:00

Last week was a difficult one. We made three trips to the vet and one to the emergency vet. Everything is fine though now (knock on computer).

The time for suckling is over. Sad. Zoe ended up getting an infection in one of her mammary glands, so she cannot nurse the babies anymore. It was about time for it to be over anyways. The babies are 6 weeks old now. The time has really just flown by.

Twix wasn't eating very good for a few days, so he had a seizure due to low blood sugar. No permanent damage. We just have to make sure he eats. He's so picky about what he eats. Yesterday, I opened 5 different kinds of food just to get him to eat.

Well, at least everyone has a real name now (and not just a nickname). And I've gotten some of the cutest pictures!!!!

You've met Twix. He's always been named Twix. As a matter of fact, he's the only one without a nickname. I'm sure he'll come across one he fancies.

Now meet Magick, formerly Buckwheat. If you've ever had a black cat then you know how hard it is to take pictures of them. He showed up really good against the yellow walls though! He loves shoes and often falls asleep in them. His eyes were the bluest out of the whole pack. They're changing now - the green is creeping into the center.

and Pirate, formerly Blackbeard.

and Cleopatra Queen of the Pile (Cleo for short), formerly Girl.

and finally, Pop-Tart formerly Marble. He was the last one to get a name. We tried out Linden, but it just wasn't cute enough. Pop-tart is plenty cute!

My new favorite thing to say "No suckles, no suckles....NO suckles!"

~Ahhhhh~

Melissa

Gratitude through the yucky parts

2008-12-02T20:49:00.000-08:00

I had said a lil while back on Jennlui's blog that I was going to share this story. So here it is...........

Parker's story.

A few years back, we lived in an apartment about an hour from where we live now. At the time, we were preparing to move. Boxes were like gold to us.

Hubby, T, and I had come home from somewhere. We spotted a bunch of boxes in the apartment complex trash and decided to come back out for them. While we were collecting our prize, a man asked us if we had seen a black kitten. We hadn't, but of course, this peaked our interest. The three of us looked around as the man talked. He explained that someone had told him that the owners moved away and left the cat.

Finally, we found the guy. He was a full grown cat...not the kitten we were expecting. But as sweet as could be. Jet black. I went inside to get him some food and water. T came out, of course to see him. He was very friendly, not at all like an outside cat. We left him to eat.

Back inside, the three of us began to talk. Even then, we couldn't say no. We enticed him inside with more food and put him in our bedroom, away from our other two cats.

His face was scratched in several places, one across his eye. His body was hard, muscular, unlike our flabby tabbies. We sat in the bedroom, getting to know him. T laid on the floor near where he lay, but not close enough for him apparently because he drug himself across the carpet to be right next to her. Awwww! Here's the first picture we took of him 6/1/07. Perfect setting for a 'Halloween Cat', with all my witchy stuff behind him. You can see the scratches on his face here.

We talked over various names and finally decided on PARKER, since we'd found him in a parking lot. :)

I was unsure of him, as I am with any cat from the outside. You never know how they are going to react to being petted or picked up. But this eased very quickly. That night, as I lay in bed, he jumped up next to me and lay down. A moment later, he threw his arms around my thigh and fell fast asleep. Double awwwww!

Hubby and I weren't planning on keeping him, but I also know very well what happens to some cats in places like the SPCA. I called different numbers and emailed several people about options. I came into contact with a woman who referred me to a place called "Forgotten Cats." They fix outside cats and release them so that they can live out their lives, but not make any more babies. We decided to have him fixed and just wait and see what would happen.

I dropped him off in the morning. My husband was going to pick him up. I could tell as soon as hubby came in the door that something was wrong.

Parker tested positive for Feline Leukemia. In humans, this is AIDS.

I was so pissed and so upset. Someone hadn't taken care of this precious life. Not only did they leave him in an apartment complex parking lot, not feed him or love him the way he deserved, but they were so irresponsible that they didn't get him the shots he needed and now he was going to die because of it. He was only a year old.

Our decision was made. We would keep him and love him and take care of him.

Parker loved to play. I mean LOVED. He chased strings and every toy we threw for him. We tired of playing before he ever did. Gosh was he strong. Pure muscle this one! He moved into T's room. She had been wanting a lover cat to snuggle with. Binx and Rowan just weren't the type. But Parker loved it. She'd lay in bed watching tv and he'd curl up in her arms and fall asleep. Triple awwww!

Eventually we introduced him to Rowan and Binx. We were worried for their safety since he was an outside cat and obviously in better shape than they. But he was as gentle with them as he had been with us. He never hissed or growled or hit. They weren't as nice, but accepted his presence (most likely because I'm the one in charge around here and they know it). But there was one day when Parker got up on the couch next to Rowan and laid his head on Rowan's butt. Rowan didn't move and actually fell asleep. Quadruple awwwwww!

It wasn't long before the Leukemia showed its effects. He lost interest in eating. He slept a lot. He had that "I'm sick" look. I prayed. I placed my statue of the Goddess Bast next to his bed. We took him to the vet and got every shot and/or medicine we could. We even tried an experimental drug. Nothing seemed to work for very long. Then it didn't work at all.

On the Monday, we watched and cried, knowing we were going to have to make a hard decision soon. We finally decided that we couldn't watch him suffer. It was unfair to us all. We would have him 'put to sleep' the next day.

That night, hubby and I were restless. We made a bed for Parker in the living room. We 'slept' on the couch with the tv on. The next morning, Parker was up and washing himself. I offered him some food, which he happily ate. I have a video of this. That is a precious piece of technology to me.

Unfortunately, this was but a moment in time, his health deteriorated again. And by the next day, we were as sure, as anyone can be (which is never 100% positive when you're making this kind of decision) that it was time.

We were signing the papers for out new house the next day. We asked the current owners if we could drive up and bury him there that night. They were kind enough to agree.

We took him to the vet. We cried while we waited. People, strangers, came up to us, hugged us, asked us about him, looked at him, said he was precious. They were all very kind. The staff took us to a room. Hubby and I petted Parker and told him we loved him and how sorry we were that thing turned out this way. The doctor came in. She'd been with us through the ordeal. She said we did everything we could, that he was lucky to have us because he would have suffered terribly outside all by himself, and that we were doing the 'right' thing.

He drifted off. His physical form out of my life. It was an exquisite kind of pain. We drove an hour to our new house, crying here and there, with his precious body in a box in the back seat. The whole way, I felt this deep urge to throw my hands up to the sky and call out, "THANK YOU...thank you for this experience, for Parker, for knowing him, for the time we had, for his sweet lovable nature. Thank you that you chose us to care for him, you trusted us, you knew we were the kind of people who would love him, give him everything we could, and let him go when it was time. THANK YOU for the painfull'ness of this fabulous LOVE. Thank you that this happened so that I can feel this confusing, wonderful, painful, absolute gratefulness." I can't explain it any better than that. That feeling continued for many days and weeks after. I remember it being very intense.

When we arrived at what would be our new home, we chose a place just outside the woods and dug in the hard, rocky earth the best that we could. I wrote messages to him on the box. Told him we loved him and placed his body back into Her arms. We drove home and cried some more. We signed the papers for the house the next day.

A few days later, we received a card in the mail from the vet. This is what it says, "In their short lives our pets give us all they can - their friendship, unselfish love, and total loyalty. There comes a time when we must give back to them - their freedom, their peace and their dignity. May you find comfort in knowing that your pet is now at peace." She wrote these words, "I appreciate all that you did for Parker. Sincerely, Dr Jody." Glued inside is also this poem "When a pet dies, that special warm place in our hearts suddenly becomes empty...and, as in all painful events, it will take time to get over the loss...But we realize, as time passes, that animals have a way of teaching us about loving, about loyalty, joy, and friendship...And whatever we've shared in their presence can never really be lost."

We were blessed to have Parker in our lives from June 1 until June 26. A very short time, but hugely important.

The statue of Bast, that sat next to his bed while he was sick, has graced his spot since he 'left'. This summer we painted the rocks around it.

You know, it's funny.....although this happened more than a year ago, it's still very hard to think about this experience and even more difficult to write about. Seriously, I'm bawling like it just happened. I think it always will be one of those wounds in me that may look healed over, but it never really is.

I can say this though: Parker and his journey is one of those bittersweet 'things' that has caused me a ton of pain..............but still, I am ever so glad that it happened to me. I will never forget that moment when he threw his arms around my thigh. It's one of those precious seemingly little things that happen. I think those are the experiences that we take with us to the beyond and others gather around in a large park to listen to our stories. I know they'll be wowed by this one.

What a Great Cat!

Some people think we're crazy for keeping the kittens and for having 10 cats. But Parker's story is one of the reasons they're staying. They deserve a good home and I know we'll give it to them.

~Blessed Be We~

Melissa

PS: I am currently blessed to have another black cat, Wentz (or Little Man or Puppy or Pwuppy or Pug) who is also a lover. This one throws his arms around my neck and hugs. He came up and hugged me a few minutes ago, when I really needed it. :) Thanks Little Puppy Man!

An award for lil ol' me :)

2008-12-01T10:00:00.000-08:00

The Most High Queen of Arts has awarded me with this.

"This blog invests and believes in PROXIMITY, nearness in space and time of relationships. These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find friends and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers."

Isn't it wonderful! A thousand blessings to whoever came up with this award. It's totally sweet! And a million-ka-trillion-ba-billion blessings to Kim "The Queen of Arts" for thinking of me. I'm very honored to receive this award. Cuddles for you Kimmi-bo-bimmie!

I live my life that way. I believe in relationships. I believe in sharing deep learnings with others. I believe in putting off ANYTHING I am doing if a friend says they need me. The reason I began blogging was to meet like minded women...because I couldn't find them where I live. Relationships are two-sided. I take pride in speaking back to someone who spoke to me. I don't judge those who don't speak to me when I've spoken to them. But I also don't 'waste' a lot of time on them. I don't like to chase people around. If you want to be friends - I AM SO IN! If you don't - that's cool, I'll just find people who do.

Anyways, enough blah, blah......

Here's who I'd like to pass this award onto:

Jennlui
Sandy
Leah
Robyn

I'd really like to award it right back to Kim! Cause I heart her.

YAY FOR US ALL!!!!

I wanted to revisit this post a little. I had a few extra thoughts about it.

I do not believe that we are all meant to reach the same exact level of 'self-confidence' that Maya or many others have. I think we're all different....different journeys, energy levels, starting points, 'parents', friends, talents, experiences, beliefs........

I truly believe that someone who started in a higher or more sturdy tree than I will probably get to a 'higher' level than me. Someone who started lower may not make it to where I do. Some people were blessed with parents who weren't too messed up with their own stuff to not mess up their kids. It's a better starting point than what some of us get. So, am I expected to reach the same level as someone who had 'good' parents? No.

I don't feel that the point of Life is to get to the absolute perfection of self-love (which includes believing in ourselves which helps us to shine our own light).....if you know me, than you know how much I believe in BALANCE. I have days (sometimes many in a row) when I feel confident in myself and what I create. And then there are the days when I just don't. I don't know what the purpose of those 'bad' days are other than to really make the 'good' days shine even brighter. I make it through them, I mean, I'm still here and creating. I don't like them. I don't like the way they feel inside. But they ARE. I know all the counter-moves against them, sometimes they chase away that yuck, sometimes they don't. Sometimes I just take a nap.

I also believe that self-love (like many other 'things') is something that we learn and then lose and learn and forget and remember and deny and re-capture and throw away and find all over again. Perhaps some of us have it and always keep it.....I just don't know those people. And I'm perfectly okay with not being one. I'm me and I feel the way I do. There is an ecstasy to that.

~Mmmmm turkey soup~
Melissa

ps: Glad to be back among you creatively alive beings! Missed you. Huggles!!!!!

I need a lil breaky-break

2008-11-26T09:03:00.000-08:00

Hey - just wanted to stop by to let ya'll know that I'll be on break until after the holiday. I need a lil slow down. Got a lotta stuff on my mind. Feeling a lil overwhelmed.

I might pop in if my energy level picks up, but I'll definitely be back on Monday.

I'm closing my eyes and wishing peace, tasty meals, love, and laughter for you all!

I'll be here laughing with the goofballs I live with. :)

~I am Thankfull for YOU~
Melissa

Kim told me to

2008-11-20T12:44:00.000-08:00

Did ya'll see this? http://queen-of-arts.blogspot.com/2008/11/november-19-day-of-sharing-words.html

Here's some shining light just for you.

Yesterday, I was doing more of this......

and I was thinking this........

I love everything about it.....my writing, the paper I use, what I say, the cute stuff I draw, the fun stuff I include. I make the bestest snail mail! Is that okay to say? Sure it is....I am allowed to LOVE my own creations. I am allowed to ~Shine My Own Light~ and be proud of it!!!!!!

Reading Kim's blog reminded me of this - a conversation between Oprah and Maya Angelou:

O: So when you hear someone being modest....

MA: I run like hell. The minute you say to a singer, "Would you sing?" and they say, "Oh no. I can't sing here," I say, "Oops! I wonder, where is that train to Bangkok?"

O: Because?

MA: Because that person is not reliable. She may not know it, but modesty speaks volumes about falseness.

O: Pretending.

MA: Lying.

Wow.....Lying...that's where she took it. At first I didn't agree, but the more I thought about and boiled it down....well, I saw her point. If someone can sing and won't sing, what does that mean? That person is holding something back. There is something there. They aren't able to, for whatever reason, be open, up front, or honest about Who They Are. In base terms (I love to get down to the base of something), not being truthfull, in any sense, is lying.

Perhaps that person was crushed by someone else or more likely a lot of someone else's and this has caused a lack of self-confidence. I can totally relate. I believe this was the reason that I didn't agree at first......I've been crushed by a ton of someone else's so far - my parents, my siblings, my lovers, my friends, my co-workers, my bosses, blah, blah, blah. Their lack of care caused me to question myself and my worth deeply and torture myself without mercy to the point when I was broken-hearted (you know that deep physical pain in your chest like someone tore something out?) and all I could do was lay around like a pathetic lump watching tv and sleeping. That's real. I don't believe in the "people can't make you feel" this way or that. I've had them do it. If it wasn't possible, than children who are abused would never feel that it was their own fault. I truly feel that you have to have some confidence in Who You Are to begin with to avoid that.

I pride myself in being an honest person (If I like you, you know. If I don't like you, you know.) and the thought that my shy'ness, my lack of self-confidence, my 'modesty' - in reality - IS LYING. WOW. I'm lying to myself, I'm lying to everyone else when I don't believe in me or what I create or what I do or say or WHO I AM. I didn't want to see myself as unreliable and a liar.....that's why I couldn't agree with Maya.

At some point, I decided to believe in myself and my very personal expedition into Life, so that's what I do now, mostly. I'm sure I'll be crushed again. I know I shouldn't allow others or even my own self to stop me from being the wonderfull, wildly whimsical, witchy woman of the woods that I AM, but sometimes I do. And that's okay. It's all part of the 'game.' If there weren't times that I didn't 'Shine my light,' I wouldn't know when I was. I am in the 'bubble' of shining my light.............

I am fabulous, wonder-full, amazing, beautiful, caring, honest, talented, wise, loving and lovable! I create cute, lovely, exciting, magickal, color-full, fantastic, gorgeous, use-full, smart creations!
YAY.

I'd like to shine someone else's light too: 2nd Surf

She made this for me. I am in the loving space of it.

Oh, and about that snail mail: one is for a person who's hot for hearts and one is for a person who's coo-coo for cats. They'll be mailed on Saturday. I hope they delight your spirits!!!!

I wish you all......

~Love and Light~
Melissa

Welcome to My World

2008-11-20T06:59:00.001-08:00

Drum roll please......................Here it is - their debut on YouTube!

We still haven't given most of them real names, except Twix, but they all have 'nicknames.'

They've gotten so fast! Check out 'Marble' playing in the background at the end of the video.

Here's 'Blackbeard' and Twix "fighting." They're constantly crawling on my lap (in this video you'll see 'Buckwheat' and 'Marble' hanging out). 'Girl' is sitting in the hole watching her brothers.

Here's 'Girl' playing.

Mommy Zoe makes an appearance here: 'Girl' tries to get her - she jumps up to a place they haven't made it to.......yet.

They just did their first "business" in the litter box! YAY!!!!!

~Tiny Whiskers~
Melissa

My Birth~Day

2008-11-18T04:33:00.000-08:00

I don't look at birthdays as special....well sort of special, but maybe more like this:

A normal day is like Hot Chocolate to me on a cold day. (most of the time)

Today is Hot Chocolate with a lil whipped cream on top.

I suppose it's because I try to enjoy the time, capture the moments, realize how special 'today' is EVERY DAY.

There was this guy who was part of the group I hung around with. No one knew when his birthday was. He wouldn't tell anyone. He said, "Why do you need to know? So you can treat me nicely that day? Treat me nicely every day!"

I also think there are many days, many moments I have been born, awakened - the moment I was conceived, the moment I took my first steps, my daughter's birth day, fast forward to the moment I realized that joy is mostly my choice, something I must reach for, grasp, and lick - kinda like an ice cream cone. So, I think in a way I celebrate this adventure, this excavation of Life every day all-ready.

I will do some celebrating today though. And I'll do some 'normal' things too.

But here's how I'd like to kick it off.................

Dance with me!!!! Lets celebrate the fact that we're ALL ALIVE today and able to experience EVERYTHING that means - the GOOD, the bad, the smelly. :)

I think that says it all!

And this is just cause this song jams!

I had to come back and edit: I almost forgot that I wanted to share this too:

I have this picture of the beautiful Jamie Lee Curtis in my studio.

This quote is an essential part of my journey. It's a little blury, but you get the idea.

BTW, today, I am 36 and SUPER HUGE PROUD OF IT!!!! No way would I want to go back and be any other age. I'm way smarter than I used to be. Yeah, smarter a$$. HA!

Have a FANTASTIC day everybody!

~I'm so glad we're all here in this moment in time, we're totally lucky!~
Melissa

ps: It's also Mickey Mouse's birthday. So Happy Happy Mickey!

A new Faerie Squarie

2008-11-17T11:31:00.000-08:00

Here's a new Faerie Squarie. She'll fly over to the shop tonight.

As promised, the Faerie Squaries, Blossoming Block, and Catty Cubes will all be there too. Pop over and see how cute they all are.

It's a short one today. I'm tired and I've got cats running all over.

~Meeee Ow~

Melissa

Snail mail comes and goes, and becomes part of my studio

2008-11-14T05:12:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I packaged the journal for Nanakin.

I also opened a package from Jennlui - isn't she super cool? :) I placed all of the trinketty treasures around my studio.

Did I mention that I bought myself a Witchy hat? Here it is sitting on my paint caddy (thank goodness for that thing - best investment ever!) I'll use that when I cast all my magick spells. The hat, I mean.

Here's the adorable heart rocks (lower left) and the rockin' black box they came in (upper left). At first I placed them here, with all my other precious rocks. At the right, you can see a stack of index cards sitting in a shell ~ these are various statements I wrote from books or my own knoggin that keep me going when I need it. Currently I'm using ~ "Amuse Thyself" : I like this one because it reminds me to create art FOR ME first. If other people like it, love it, or buy it, great, but my amusement matters to me most. And ~ "Press on Pussy" : This is something a guy friend of mine used to say all the time. It's a little dirty, sorry, I know, but it makes me smile and keeps me going when I feel like crapping out. "Cursing" is part of my regular vocabulary. I very much censor myself here for your benefit. ;)

Anyways, back to the rocks. I decided to place them here. The Lady's hands hold all of my hearts.

Jennlui, also sent me these.

I heart the rocks she makes! Eventually, I will share these with others so they can know about Jennlui and her trinketty treasures, but for now, they reside here.

I can't forget that super cute postcard!

I placed it on my fireplace.

See it? No? How about now? It's right in the middle.

LOVE this fireplace!!!! It's a fakey-fake, but it has a firebox, so I can burn candles inside it. You can see all my Witchy stuff - cauldron hanging in the hearth, broom leaning on the side.

On the right hand side of the fireplace (see the full fireplace picture above), there's a branch that I found outside. I really liked the curvey'ness of it. On the left side of that branch is something hanging. Any guesses what it is?????? If anyone guesses correctly, I'll send you a prize. I didn't mean to give anything else away (but it's so much fun!), so I don't know what it will be, but it'll be cute. (Sorry Ladies - Leah already won. It is my own hair that I kept when I cut it all off last year.)

These are just for added cute'ness and cause everyone goes so wild for them......He doesn't have a real name yet, but so far he's got one nickname ~ Blackbeard ~ cause he has one. ;)

More of my studio to come in the future. Perhaps I'll clean it up a lil first. :) It so needs to be vacuumed.

~Vvvvvvvvrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr~
Melissa

Creating my creative butt off

2008-11-12T05:16:00.001-08:00

Yup, that's what I've been doing. If you follow my blog, then you know how many cats I have bringing inspiration to my life (it's 10 - 5 big, 5 little, for those of you who don't know). So, I've done some cat squares. I haven't decided on a name for them yet. Funky Felines, Catty Cubes (which I think I'm partial to), Clever Cats, Fatty Catties, Talking Tabbies.....I don't know - what do you think????

Awaken to Adore~able

Curly Girly

Live Wildly (This is part of Blossoming Blocks)

These will all be available on November 17 (the day before my Birthday) right here.

This is just for Jennlui ~ one of those magick things that happen. I just remembered it this morning. Okay....I was making some paper for journals. I went to bed that night. I had this strange dream about baby elephants. I woke up and started going through the pages I made the day before. This is what showed up on one of the pages.

That's an elephant, right? I so didn't do that on purpose! But someone did. ;)

YAY ~ snail mail! I received this sparkley cute'ness from Vanessa in the mail the other day. She's hanging around my studio with all my other favorite things and making lots of new friends!

I dislike days when I wake up with a headache. Ugh. But I'm going to power through it cause I have too many 'things' to do....most of it is fun, so don't feel too badly for me. Thank Goddess for F'advil (that's the fake advil we buy from Walmart).

~Sunshine on my Shoulder, makes me happy (and squinty)~

Melissa

New Item and The Results of the give~away

2008-11-08T04:40:00.000-08:00

First....the newest item (that will be available here on Nov. 17) drum-roll please......................... Faerie Squaries!

They measure about 2 1/2 by 3 inches and are lil'cuties! I was inspired by 2nd Surf. I am so in love with her items, especially this, that I asked her to create a custom piece that says my new favorite saying "Yay Every Day!" It's gonna rock. I'll put pictures of it up as soon as it's in my grubbie-lil-mitts.

Hey, speaking of Second, the results of the give-away. Hey, gimme another drum-roll please...............................................................Nanakin! Please email me your information and your choice (Celebrate Alone~ness or Love Yes). I'll package it up this week and mail it on Saturday.

Have a fan-tabulous weekend!

~Chocolate Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting~

Melissa

I am so thrilled and honored

2008-11-05T04:09:00.000-08:00

to be alive today...to be able to see the first African-American President of The United States! The feeling of excitement, of thrill, of chills running up and down and all the way through and around again ~ I AM SO OVERWHELMED AND GREAT~FULL TO BE HERE! I am not a political kind of person, but the electricity of this moment has touched my very soul. What a fabulous day it is!!!!!

A thought: when "President" Obama was born and almost all through his life NO ONE KNEW that he would be OUR PRESIDENT! OUR FIRST AFRICAN-AMERICAN PRESIDENT! Brings me to a line in "Lady in the Water" when a character said, "No one is told Who They Are."

Today is also a great day to have a TV. I've seen so many historical, soul-shaking moments!

What a victory, what a moment in time, for our Country, for our World, for our Earth, for us ALL! WOW.

Now, I'm thrilled and honored to bring you these sweet souls.

Couldn't you just eat them up? I love their lil ears so much I could kiss them and kiss them and kiss them!

The last picture and the one below is Twix (Tristan says - I say his full name is Betwixt and Between - she's fighting me on it, but I'll win cause I pay the bills ;) ). He's the only bay-bee with a name so far. His eye is infected. We took him to the vet last night and got some ointment for his eye. Everyone loved him and just kept saying how cute he is and they couldn't get over how tiny (8 oz) he is. They also loved his ears.

I'm not worried about his eye. It will either heal or Rowan will have a buddy who is also a perpetual winker. Actually it might work out for Rowan - together they'll each have a lookout for the side they can't see on. ;) Rowan has always gotten along fine...so will Twix if the eye has to be removed.

They look at me now when I speak to them. They cry at me when I sit outside the box. I think they know I'm their Other Mommy. :) My heart sings when I'm with them. If only they could stay little like this for longer.

Oh, don't forget about this: Go here for the giveaway.

~What a purely MAGICKAL Day~

Melissa

~Grand Opening of my Etsy shop and a free gifty~

2008-11-03T05:19:00.001-08:00

After weeks of work and worry and more work and stress and more work and my butt hurting until I can't bear it.....the day has finally arrived!!!

My Etsy Shop is finally open. I'll wait while you take a look.....hmm, hum, hmmm, hum, hum, hmm, hmmm...back? *Kool*

I adore the journals I make. Love them to death!! And I'm really thrilled about being able to offer them world-wide. Thank you Etsy Gods!

For those of you who care, Rain SilverStar* is a name I've used for several years. It was a combination of a name I thought of calling my daughter "Reign" and my first two cats Silver Whiskers and Star.

So, bring on the free stuff!!!!

Anyone who comments on this post from now until Friday afternoon will be entered into the drawing for one of the following. Totally YOUR choice -

One, Celebrate Alone-ness
~ front cover

~ back cover

~ you'll find lovely pages such as this inside (pink ribbon bookmark)

OR two, Love Yes!
~ front cover

~ back cover

~ you'll find lovely pages such as this inside (green ribbon bookmark)

Of course, the winner will get free shipping no matter where, but so will everyone else on my etsy shop (from the US, sorry International peeps * but maybe we can work something out) who makes a purchase in November - the awesome month of my birth!

Wonderful International Peeps: Just so there's no confusion - You are very welcome to enter this give-away. I'm willing to ship to you for free if you win.

But if you purchase on the etsy shop, please convo me first, I'll see what the shipping costs, and we'll work something out. ;)

Also: I will draw the winner at 6:00 EST. So, please enter before then. And I'll announce the winner on Saturday.

My thanks to everyone! And best of luck.

I'll be adding journals all week, so check back. I have plans of offering many more varying items, but for now........

~Joyous, Jumping, Jolly, Journal Magick~

Melissa

Give~away

2008-11-03T04:52:00.000-08:00

Today, I'll be having my first celebratory give-away......sometime. I'll get it up here as soon as I can. Oh, how I wish it wasn't a cloudy day....I need to take some pictures.

~shoulda coulda woulda done it yesterday~
Melissa

ps: I wanted to add this http://leahmeetsbrandon.blogspot.com/ just cause she asked and it's a cool project. :)

Do you believe in Magick?

2008-10-31T06:56:00.000-07:00

I do....all kinds of magick. Take for example a seed. You bury a seed in the ground. Provide some water, some sun, and BOOM, something totally new emerges. I am amazed by that, every single time I think of it.

Birth is magick - those squirmy wormers are growing fatter by the day. (Here's a new picture for all you bay-bee animals lovers.)

Our bodies are magick - the way they work, the way they know what to do without us telling them directly. Life is FULL of it.

Here's some of my personal magick -

One evening, hubby and I went to the park to read and play cards while daughter was at youth group. The place we usually sat overlooked horse stables. A horse neighed - hubby said (and I quote), "That's the first time I ever heard a horse neigh....well except for on TV." The next day we decided to go to a local farm (Linvilla Orchards, Delaware County, PA). As we were walking around, we came upon the area where the animals lived. A horse neighed - daughter said (and I quote), "That's the first time I ever heard a horse neigh....well except for on TV." !!! Hubby and I laughed. She said, "What?" We said, "I/he just said the exact same thing last night."

On the way to a friend's house, "Everybody have fun tonight (everybody wang chung tonight)" was on the radio. It reminded me that Frazier from Cheers once sang that in the bar. I stopped at a stop sign on Cherry Tree Road and happened to look at the cross-street sign. It said Frazer

I was in my room, while hubby and daughter were watching TV in the other room, writing in my journal. The radio was on. "Pink Cadillac" came on. I didn't particularly like the song, but I left it on. I changed the channel a few minutes later and that same song was on again. I thought it strange and something (don't know what) prompted me to write "Pink Cadillac" in my journal. Eventually, I went out with the others. They were flipping through the channels. The movie "Fletch 2" was on. Daughter passed it and I said, "Hey go back." She did. A moment later, Fletch uncovered a car. I said, "Is that a pink cadillac?" Hubby said, "Yeah."

The story of Binx: We had a cat named KC who died. My mother's hairdresser offered us a black cat she'd found outside. I'd always wanted a black cat, but didn't feel ready at the time. Over the next few weeks, it was obvious that Rowan (our other cat) was lonely. We decided to take up the hairdresser's offer. When we went to pick the kitten up, we sat down to chat. I noticed a tattoo on her arm - it had the letters KC in it. I pointed it out to hubby and daughter. On the way home, we passed a truck from a local business - KC Signs. We stopped at WaWa. A jeep was parked backward. The letters KC were on the headlights.

Before I left for the book store, I grabbed the SARK books I had in a pile on the desk. A note I had written fluttered out onto the floor. It said, "Any way you want it." On the way home, I heard that song.

I have a list of words (some are circled in my journal) that I happen to hear in a song while I am writing that exact word.

While I was out driving I swear I saw God wearing a bird suit! I happened to look in the rear view mirror and saw a bird and playing on the radio a song said, "Look over your shoulder, I’ll be there" as I did. Freaked me out a little.

An entry from my journal when I was at the book store: Earlier a woman was talking very loudly on a cell phone at the book store. It didn’t really bother me, but I could hear what she was saying loud and clear. Something about christmas gifts. And she said, "Cats with a z" She said that twice before she left. I did feel a little relieved to have ‘silence’ once again. So, just now while reading ‘a year by the sea’ by Joan Anderson, I see ‘The postmistress, whose cat, Zipcode..." Cat Z.

Another experience at the book store: While at the book store with Dee, I found another book by Paulo Coelho. I loved his others. So, here I was reading it and it said, "I remember my magic moment..." and the song playing in the background at the book store was "This magic moment!"

Yet, Another book store experience: Daughter was at youth group again. Hubby and I went to the, you guessed it, book store. I went to my usual section ~ Self Help ~ ;). I looked at this and that, then decided to go to the potty. On my way back into the section, I noticed a book titled: "Chasing Daylight" by Eugene O'Kelly. A secondary title explained that the author knew he was going to die. The back noted that he was the CEO of KPMG - a large accounting firm. This was the firm that my previous workplace had started using after the fall of their usual firm. So it caught my eye - I opened the book to see if I would find some special words for me. First thing I noticed was that the book was upside down inside the cover jacket. I flipped and flipped - nothing. So I put it back on the shelf. I started to walk away. A thought came to me "I should fix that upside down book." As I took the cover off, a notecard fell out. Here are some pictures of it.

The envelop says "Open and expand your mind." Inside it says, "Sip by sip, life's a trip! Hope you enjoy yours! or are enjoying. And remember..."Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth." ~ Alan Watts"

What a GREAT thing to happen! And very timely for me too - This happened to me on a Monday. The Friday before that, I was asking The Universe "Who am I?" I was trying to define the un-define-able. Duh.

I have that note glued inside an old journal. I'll keep it until I die and then I'll tell the story when I reach the other side. I still love that person for leaving that note - one day I will do the same thing because it is on my list of precious things that have happened to me.

Okay: These events may seem silly to some people, not to me. Life is so much more fun when you take magick seriously. Some people may call them coincidence, serendipity ~ I call them magick. I've gotten into the idea of naming what happens in my life, Repeaters. They are things that repeat, like an echo. I don't think they individually mean anything specific....I simply look at them as markers on my path. If I see/notice these happenings, than I'm on the correct path. I feel that they are a reassurance that was gifted to me by The Universe. I adore this about my life. It is one of the reasons I would NEVER change lives with anyone!

(here is a note I wrote in my journal about these experiences) In a chakra book I have it talks about the 3rd eye...mine tingles often...often enough for me to know it. I began to feel this tingle after a Reiki session years ago. In the book it says, "Ability to perceive patterns, to "see." That seems so like this magick. They seem more like patterns, not necessarily signs of the future, but more like a road map.

Here's what I think: Magick isn’t always obvious, but if sought, it is found in every single moment. We just have to SEE it, NOTICE it, LOVE it, LIVE it, BE it.

~As always, Magickally Delicious~

Melissa

Reflections of our~selves

2008-10-30T11:49:00.000-07:00

Can we ever truly have a vision of our own self? Certainly we cannot truly see what our own face looks like. Mirrors are reversed. Spoons reflect us upside down. Pictures, video, paintings - all dimensionally incorrect. They cannot capture the full scope of our faces. Even our own eyes reverse everything and turn it upside down first then the brain interprets it correctly (that's right, right?) So, if we cannot ever truly see our own face - if we can only have an idea of what we physically look like, not an exact image....how does that translate to mentally, emotionally, spiritually? Is it ever possible to have a correct idea of Who We Are? What do you think??

Taking and putting up pictures of myself is a stretch for me. I just don't like pictures of me. But whatever...I'm sure it's just that stupid pain in the butt voice in my head trying to keep me from having a good time and accepting myself. (Shut up you!)

Well, here goes....I'm wearing the project that I mentioned I was working on. I'm calling them scrappy scarves (perhaps I'll put them in my Etsy shop). I heart them BIG. This is also a better picture of my half purple hair.

As you can see, my natural color has grown in. The last time I had it cut and bleached was in January. Honestly, I can say I will do it again. But for now, I'm waiting for my natural color to grow back in. I need a break from having to color my hair every other month.

I'm suddenly feeling kinda quiet. Maybe I'm tired. My daughter just came in and gave me an attitude about locking the front door. I think I need a nappy.

~Beauty - full - ness~
Melissa

ps: about my earlier thought (a vision of our self)....perhaps it's like everything else...close enough is close enough. anything else would be asking for perfect. and we all know that here, on our beautiful Earth, imperfect IS perfect.

Male, male, and more male

2008-10-29T08:29:00.000-07:00

Well it looks like Tristan, Binx, Zoe, ??, and I are outnumbered. We did the 'sex' role-call last night and the final tally: 4 boys, 1 girl.

So for the boys: Hubby, Rowan, Wentz, Mooka, and 4 (as of now) un-named bay-bees. Total: 8

The girls: Moi, Tristan, Binx, Zoe, and 1 (as of now) un-named bay-bee. Total: 5

WHA???? How did that happen?? When did we lose control? Oh well.......at least one of my dreams has come to fruition - I AM SURROUNDED BY ADORING MEN, even if they are mostly cats! heehee

Over the weekend we drove to our old neighborhood (an hour away) to get the poopy scared out of us at Arasapha Farm. They put on such a fantastic show. We so love being scared. :)

Speaking of poopy - it's really funny what reminds you of home. Living out in the country, there are all kinds of smells. We drove past a farm and the smell of cow stuff wafted in the vents. I turned to my husband and said, "It smells like our bedroom." Sadly, he agreed. Oh, those kittens are super cute, but they do have a stanky downside. I guess my hubby's favorite book applies here - "Everybody Poops." Sometimes, I'm actually a little glad for my newly acquired allergies. I leave this conversation with the following wisdom: All good and bad things come to those who can smell.

My plan for the day: taking pictures for my Etsy shop (it's almost ready and there will be a give-away for the Grand Opening - stay tuned), working on a new project (I'll put pictures of that up as soon as it's done), paying attention to cats and cats and more cats, working on a Halloweener post (of sorts).

Wha'chu doin'?

I'll just be here in my fuzzy slippers.....
(that right one needs a brushing)

~Fuzz On~
Melissa

Squirmy Wormers update

2008-10-28T05:02:00.000-07:00

A week ago, they were here.

Now they're here.

We have a pile of kittens under our bed. Tomorrow the bay-bees will be a week old. Went fast. Last night, we noticed one had one partially opened eye. Pretty soon they'll all be open and then they'll be getting into all kinds of kitten trouble.

So far we've got one boy and one girl. I haven't been able to see what the rest are because every time I pick them up they squeal - I don't want to upset Zoe...it's not worth it. We'll find out eventually.

It's another blustery day in PA. Those kittens would have been freezing their nips off outside. I honestly don't think all of them would have survived. Lucky ducks, I mean kittens.

~Sweet Lil Kitten Faces~

Melissa

Perfect Partners

2008-10-27T05:52:00.000-07:00

Some of this is a little scattered......and I so don't mean to sound preachy or that I know it all. I just want to share what I've learned in this area or what I believe because I know it's helped me to enjoy the healthy and happy relationship that I am in. Here goes:

So often we look at other people's lives or read their blogs and think that what they have is perfect. I have fallen into this trap on many occasions (not just in blog-land, but in 'real-land' too). I am getting better at recognizing the falsity of the thought when it comes up and recalling the understanding that we all have 'issues, problems' (whatever you want to call them), there are potential pitfalls in every journey, and whatever that person has or doesn't have comes with it's own 'price.'

As far as my partner being perfect - he'd say NO and I'd say "He's perfect for ME because I CHOOSE for him to be." Oh, we've had our troubles. Most of them are far and away, but resurface every once in awhile. There were a lot of 'dreams' I had to give up for the health of this relationship, myself, my partner, and my daughter. My husband wasn't my dream husband (are they ever? perhaps sometimes for some people - but I'd venture a guess that for the most part they aren't). After a few years of torture, I realized that that dream guy may look tasty, may say things that melt my clothes off, and may be strong in spirit - BUT HE ISN'T REAL and even IF he was, perhaps he'd have other qualities that didn't allow me to live my best life. For many years, I chose that type of guy and IT NEVER WORKED OUT. I spent my time being upset for one reason or another - he lied, he cheated, he ignored me, he ignored my daughter, he only wanted sex, things changed between us because he couldn't keep up the act (because he wasn't being his real self, only a self that would get me in bed), he was jealous of things I wanted to do, he pushed me away, he was controlling, abusive mentally, emotionally, physically....and the list goes on.

Here's a brief synopsis of how we got together: We worked together for years. He liked me from the first moment he saw me. Then he realized I was dating another co-worker. We became friends and remained so for several years. It took me some time to recognize his feelings, but we never spoke directly of them...until one night we were hanging out. I was single at the time. We hung out a few times, but I wasn't ready yet. I asked if we could go back to being friends. We did. I went back to the co-worker. We reached a place again when it wasn't working out. So, I began to think - instead of getting together with someone who I like and trying to get them to like me.....why don't I get together with someone who likes ME for Who I Am already and see what happens?? That singular idea is where this 'perfect' relationship began.

My husband allows and helps me to live my best life because he knows, understands, embraces, and even likes Who I Am. I can't ask for more than that. But I had to choose to allow it first. I had to decide that the heart, the soul, the character inside of him is more important than the rest.

When we first got together, no one would have believed that we are as happy, as solid as we are. I was really into the idea that we choose partners who remind us of our childhood relationships. We choose these people in order to resolve the painfull parts. I shared this idea with him. We talked a lot about things like that. Both of our families are fraught with relationship troubles. And WE DIDN'T WANT TO REPEAT THEIR MISTAKES or LIVE THEIR F'ED UP LIVES. We'd seen how it turned out and instead of doing the same stupid things, we did something else in hopes that it would work out better. (and I'm happy to say "It has." :)

I would imagine people (even my so-called friends and ex-family) thought/said the following: The bitch with the nice guy. She's using him. He'll do whatever she says, she's going to use that against him. She's going to control him. She's going to get bored of him being so nice and leave. She's going to cheat on him. It will never work. She doesn't love him (that WAS said to me). I feel bad for him (which was also said in a conversation about us when I wasn't present).

Stu and I spoke about that 'stuff' over the years and honestly, we laughed at them all because they really had no idea what they're talking about. They didn't KNOW us. They didn't spend time with us as a couple. Their own relationships were either in a smoking pile of rubble (way beyond repair), well on their way to a smoking pile of rubble, or none existent. Who the heck were they to judge???

My friend says I have to have "the patience of a saint" with him. The reason: he does a lot of things that appear 'dumb' to me. For example, last night - we're cooking dinner together (cause he doesn't have a problem doing or helping to do anything around the house - that's one of his really good qualities). I was going to ask our daughter to cook the rice, but I asked him to do it because "she'll ask me a million questions even though the directions are right on the box." He said, "I'll probably ask you a million questions too." I said, "The directions are right on the box." So, I'm cutting veggies (cause I wouldn't ask him to do that - I kinda like him with fingers) and I see, out of the corner of my eye, him at the sink directly filling the pot up with water. I said, "What are you doing?" He said, "It says to boil the water." I look at the box and see the table which clearly displays a certain amount of rice and a certain amount of water. I say, "What, just water? Not a certain amount of water?" He looks at the box....."Oh." Now, what he did wasn't a huge deal, but piled on top of a million other similar situations ~ sometimes it gets annoying and I usually don't hesitate to tell him so - which is why I said, "We have to have the patience of saints with each other.' I'm no picnic all the time either.

There are other 'issues' in our relationship that are much too private to go into, but believe me, they are there. We just don't allow them to ruin the rest. Other people probably would. The past me would have and tried to. But because we got together at the 'perfect' time for me- when I was ready to get out of the fairy tale idea of relationships and get into a real relationship - and he is just one of those 'nice guys' who always wants things to work out....it has worked out. Where we will go from here - I have no idea - but I have a feeling that it's only going to get better and better.

I also have the feeling that the choice to remain in this relationship will be made again and again because that's how Life goes. The re-cognition that what's good here is really good for us and the 'bad' parts just come with the good package will re-turned to and re-examined and re-membered. It's like going to a restaurant and seeing a steak with a baked potato. Well, perhaps you wanted fries, but it doesn't come with fries, it comes with a baked potato. So, you think, "Do I want that steak enough to have a baked potato and not fries, OR do I want the fries so much that it's worth changing to something else???" I'm loving the steak...so baked potato it is!

So often our society is concerned with LOVE. Love is complicated - I believe I read this idea in Conversations with God: Love is like white light. When it shines through a prism a rainbow appears. All the colors that are contained in that white light show up....red, blue, orange, purple, green, yellow. I believe many of us are confused about what LOVE is. Not that I know exactly or that I haven't been or will be in the future....but I know this, fighting is in there....it's part of the Love. I suppose I concern myself mostly with the liking of my partner. I like him. I like Who He Is. I don't particularly care for all of his characteristics and I'm sure some of mine get on his nerves (he just doesn't say so because it's not his nature)....but still, I like him. Love is like the ocean....ebbing and flowing, rippling, ever moving, even in the smallest way. Like is still. I either like someone or I don't. The way I determine that is through their actions. Has he done things that have hurt me emotionally? YES. YES. Mentally? YES. YES. Physically? YES. YES. (like when we wrestle - not talking physical violence here) But the thing about it is this: Because I know him deeply, I understand that there is no 'on purpose' in his 'hurtfull' actions. So, I do not interpret him as trying to hurt me. Anything he does is accidental or perhaps he wasn't thinking. These things are 'easily' let go.

I see our entire relationship as Divinely Planned. Throughout both of our separate journeys we were prepared, we were taught through a series of painful situations. The purpose ~ so that we would know how to appreciate the GOOD and gracefully accept the bad that surely comes with it.

Basically, in my experience, there are no perfect partners, only ones who are perfect enough. Check out the movie "The Story of Us."

~US'ness~
Melissa

Soaking IN Purple

2008-10-24T04:41:00.000-07:00

In honor of Claudia and her lovely hair.

Lately, I've been doing this.

And even some of this.

Don't forget about this......

and that.

~Mmmmmm, purpley goodness~
Melissa

The BESTEST Anniversary present EVER....or squirmy wormers

2008-10-23T05:40:00.000-07:00

It finally happened! All these days and weeks we waited. The day finally arrived when those squirmy wormers that were in Zoe's belly came out to see the world! ~YAY~ and it was on our Anniversary. It was a great day!! I spent most of the day watching and helping her....she must have been exhausted cause I was so tired out I went to bed early.

There's 5 - a black and white, a black, a marbled black and white/gray, and two darker stripped ones that look like Mommy (pictured below). Super cute! They're all doing well.

See the teeny tiny kitten leg and tail in between Zoe's leg and tail? For those of you who've never seen them when they're first born...WOW are they small!

I keep telling the other cats we have that they are uncles and an aunt. Heehee...Rowan is Uncle Dittle.

What a blessing and a treat and total honor it's been! I'm glad we're the kind of people who would take in a pregnant outside cat. I'm looking forward to seeing who these lil squirmy wormers become.

~Newly Born LIFE~

Melissa

4 YEARS! that's my favorite number

2008-10-22T02:36:00.000-07:00

Well, today it's been 4 years since I married the goof-ball I'm married to. For some reason, this year, I'm able to remember how long it's been. Usually I have to ask him - which is quite a reversal from the 'typical' marriage....usually the woman knows and the man is clueless. I also usually have trouble remembering how long I've been on this Earth. Again, for some reason this year I know next month it will be 36 years. I'm not a numbers kind of gal - I married an accountant, let him do the math. I guess I don't focus on the amount of time, I focus on the time itself when it is happening. I don't care how long we've been married, as long as we're having a good time.

And we are....it's not a romantic kind of story. I always thought I was into romance. Turns out I'm not. I'm into laughing and companioning.

He makes me laugh. I make him laugh. Our daughter makes us laugh. We make her laugh. The cats make us laugh. I believe them to laugh at us quite often. We are laughing fools! I love it.

Could I ask for more?

Well, I have. I've demanded 'it'. I've not lived my life because I didn't have 'it'. I made all of us suffer because of 'it'. And there are still times 'it' floats around in my head.

But 'it' isn't here.

BUT what IS here is more grand than I could have ever imagined for myself. I can trust him like no one else (for the most part....I can't trust him to fix something without me playing supervisor so he doesn't make the house explode, but that's a small price to pay). I know he can trust me. We believe in each other. We are so often on the same page or pretty darn close that it's uncanny. We both just want to enjoy our lives without having to act out some sick, petty script that's been written for us by others.....like some people we know. We play cards together. We play video games together. We watch TV together. We clean up together. We do yard work together. We shop together. We are together all the time. Now, some people may think that unhealthy....but hey, we have already spent more time in our lives without each other than together, so until the reverse is true we'll keep hanging out.

I never would have married someone funny on purpose. But I'm not always as wise as I think I am. He thinks nothing of making himself appear a fool out in public just to get me to laugh. Now that I think of it, perhaps there IS romance here.

Happy Anniversary Love! You're the bestest guy I could have ever married. I'll be ever great~full that I did even if you do a billion more 'stupid' things!! We rock!

"Holy Mother of God! Every damn time! Oh, it's a bad one!" ::giggle::

~Swoon~
Melissa

Find Your Breath

2008-10-21T08:39:00.000-07:00

My yoga teacher kept saying that last night. Find your breath. I remembered something I re-learned during our vacation to Myrtle Beach, SC.

I am not a mouse. I am a Wolf. I don't have to try to be a mouse because it is not my nature. Nor do I have to try to be a wolf...I just am. I am kind. I am forgiving. I seek to enjoy life with those around me with harm to none. BUT, not everyone else is kind or 'deserves' forgiving (I'm hesitant to say it that way, but see my explanation later*) or seeks to enjoy life with harm to none. There ARE others out there who lie, play games, manipulate, and WORSE. I cannot be a party to that. I have no desire to have those kinds of others in my life. They make trouble, they are trouble-makers. I do not bring trouble to other people's lives (if I do, it is completely accidental) and I don't put up with others who do do it on purpose or with purpose. *There ARE people who will kick you and say sorry and kick you and say sorry and kick you and say sorry and kick you and say sorry and kick you and say sorry....you get the picture. I do my best to let go of the injury, but I do not allow them back (unless they make some GRAND kind of gesture and show that they have changed.....this has never happened to me.....yet, but I'm open to the possibility). In my experience, forgiveness isn't something you can do just once...it's done and then done again and when that injury pops up, it's done again and a few months later, again. I have never forgiven someone for doing something to me (that I felt needed forgiveness, we're not talking they accidentally stepped on my foot here) and only had to let it go once - I've had to re-inspect the wound, clean it out...again, put some healing ointment on it, and let it scar over and be, until it was opened again.

I've been exposed to a lot of ~world peace~ kind of talk. Let me say this: I DO NOT BELIEVE IN WORLD PEACE. It's not that I wouldn't want it or that it doesn't sound lovely. I just do not believe in the possibility here on Earth. For example: IF there was world peace....would there be abortion?? would there be porn?? would there be loud motorcycles (cause those things disturb me deeply)?? Would there ever come a time when we'd all agree - "That's it, no more abortion, no more porn, and no more loud motorcycles!" ~YAY~ the crowd goes wild! I don't see it happening. Besides, I'm more into ~BALANCE~ there is no up without down, no left without right. No peace without non-peace.

Most of the people I've come across in this journey have acted as if there is something wrong with my nature. They said I should be a different way. Inside this created a struggle, which has lasted many years and caused me far too much pain. I have fought with the idea of letting things go every time, not taking things personally every time, realizing I don't have to get upset about how someone else is acting every time....being a mouse (no offense to the mouse). I would usually fail and feel like a jerk - this painfull yuck in my chest - not because I WAS a jerk, but because of the self doubt placed inside by these mice. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with those things, but I feel all things in balance ~ there is a time for me to ignore someone who is kicking me or to believe that they didn't mean it AND there is also a time for me to turn around, narrow my gaze at them, growl and spit and lunge because I KNOW those ten kicks were on purpose!

I embrace this about Me. It's not for everyone. But I'm the counter-balance for some of those mice out there and also for those out of balance rabid wolves.

I do not condone violence, but I feel it is necessary in some cases. Bullies don't always stop talking until someone comes along and punches them in the mouth. Even "Little House on the Prairie" - a show full of values - has had many episodes displaying this 'fact'. My all time favorite episode: They had money troubles. Pa had to work several crap jobs...one being cleaning out stables. Snobby Nellie and brother teased Laura about how he smelled like a dirty horse. Laura got upset. Pa set her straight. Next day, Nellie started in again. Laura told her to stop. She didn't. Laura punched her in the nose and said, "Hard working folks only smell bad to folks who have nothing better to do than stick their noses in the air. Well, every time you stick your nose in the air with me, Nellie, it's gonna get punched." YES!

Personally, I will not get sucked into this - "be a 'better' person, just let it go, it doesn't matter anyway, Life here is an illusion, it's not about you, it's about them, don't take it personally" stuff. I want nothing more than to get along with everyone, but not everyone wants to get along with me or anyone else and I can't make them...this doesn't make me any less or more than someone who would choose these options. They just don't sit well in my belly....so, WOLF it is!!

~Half Moon Howlin'~
Melissa

My Wolf'ness

2008-10-17T05:12:00.000-07:00

I am Wolf

Sacred Wolf

Woman Wolf

I am Loyal and Friendly, Wild and Wise

I'll roll over and let you rub my belly

soft, hidden fur

But YOU have been hounding my borders

Backing me into corners

And I DON'T LIKE IT

WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, TREATING ME LIKE THIS?

I'd like to attack YOU

rip out YOUR throat

yank out YOUR tongue

simply because I am Wolf

and Wolf is my nature

But don't worry yet

I won't do it THIS time

I'll reign in my wolf'ness

and say nothing direct

But BE AWARE YOU

Because I AM WOLF

SACRED WOLF

WOMAN WOLF

and YOU'RE really pissing me off!

So kindly STOP!

BEFORE I AM FORCED TO BARE MY TEETH!!

B!t(h

~Deep Breath and Release~

Melissa

Surprise!

2008-10-14T06:23:00.000-07:00

We live on 3.5 acres of mostly wooded land. Aaaaaadore it! I just never know what I'm going to get.

SURPRISE! ANIMALS - The other night we walked out the front door. I noticed something black out of the corner of my eye. Thought it was the outside black cat we feed. Then I saw the white stripe. I said to my husband, "Uuuhhhhh, that's a skunk" and quickly went back inside.

SURPRISE! INFORMATION - Last night we learned some new information: Apparently, we are not only feeding the outside cats, the birds, the squirrels, and the chipmunks....we're also feeding the opossum and the skunk. They were both out eating birdseed late last night.

SURPRISE! FLOWERS - A few months ago, I noticed something yellow on the hill around our house. I walked up to see this sweet'ness looking back at me. I didn't even have to plant it - it just showed up.

It happened again the other day - I found this growing in a pot I planted months ago with a totally different kind of flower. YAY - another flower just showing up to grace my life!

SURPRISE! WEEDS - Oh, we have tons of those. But I like the ones that not only SURPRISE! show up, but are sneaky hiders of their beauty. Like this for example: just a bunch of holey green stuff, right?

but underneath, even pointing toward the ground is this lil cutie flower.

SURPRISE! CATS - Never expected another cat and certainly not a preggers one! Still no kittens. When will they arrive? That's a SURPRISE! too.

SURPRISE! TREES - We have no large pine trees here. I must say I was little disappointed in that when we moved here. But as we 'cleaned up' different areas, we realized that we do have a ton of little ones scattered around. Just to give it some perspective, my hand. It's so teeny tiny and absolutely precious.

We even have one with long needles. Isn't it cute??

SURPRISE! WEATHER - Last week, they were talking about frost. This week, they're saying 80 degrees! Mmmmm, warm autumn days.

SURPRISE! MONEY - My husband was laid off his job in July. He received a package of a month's pay (plus some). Two days later he got another job. So, in essence, he got paid for an extra week's vacation AND for the next 4 weeks he was paid double from the old job and the new one! As a matter of fact, he already had the interview lined up (and probably would have gotten it)....so if his old 'stupid jerky' company had only waited two days, they could have saved themselves thousands of dollars. But Hey, what goes around, comes around.

Surprises come in many forms and many ways, but often we're just too busy and caught up in the life society tells us we should live to notice them. My downfall has always been being too focused on what I want to show up and not what does. "I'm getting better" (just to throw in a movie quote in my best english accent - anyone know what it is?) I wasn't always this positive. I'm still not always, but I'm thrilled to say that progress has been made in my war with negative thinking/feelings . Yesterday all it took was a nap to get back on track. I woke thinking, "It doesn't matter what people think or do, I should do what I want to do just because I want to do it...no matter if no one ever pays any attention to crazy ca-ute lil ol me." Attention is over-rated by our egos!! And maybe mine makes a bigger deal of it than most. Pain in the hiney (is that how hiney is spelled?). That's no surprise to me, but the fact that I am over-coming it is. I never thought that would happen. I'm totally taken with thank-full'ness and grandly great-full! YAY EVERY DAY!

I'll end this with:

SURPRISE! HAIR - Not the kind that shows up on your chin one morning. No, no, this kind:

It's a little messy, but you get the point. Half of my hair is electric purple. When I wear it pulled back it's regular color in the front (see my profile picture when I had all 'normal' hair), purple in the back. I never thought of it before now, but it's kinda like an updated version of a mullet - all business in the front, party in back. heeheehaha! :)

What surprises have you been blessed with?

~SURPRISES! are The Universe's way of keeping The Journey from becoming a big long Yaaaaawwwwnnnn~

Melissa

HERE IT IS!

2008-10-10T05:49:00.001-07:00

My Etsy banner.....

What do you think??

Now, I have to work on my products. I'm making some changes to the way I make journals....hopefully it will be up and running in the next few weeks. YAY!

~Lucky Charms~

Melissa

Making a banner for Etsy is

2008-10-09T10:54:00.000-07:00

so much harder and more time consuming than I ever imagined. Or maybe I just don't know what I'm doing. My butt hurts. I'm totally tired. Ugh.

But it is almost ready.....and looking fan-freaking-tastic! Looking forward to opening my lil shoppy-shop.

~YAY~
Melissa

Precious Moments

2008-10-08T11:15:00.000-07:00

I can feel the kittens moving and kicking inside Zoe's belly. ~Ah~ I'm thankful that she is sharing her experience with us. Look how fat her belly is now.

Ooooo, I can't wait to see them!!!! Should be any time now. This is absolute MAGICK.

~Birth~

Melissa

Wild and Unkempt Places (saying goodbye to all that green part 2)

2008-10-07T06:06:00.000-07:00

This is what the side of our driveway/garage looks like. We haven't done a thing to it since we moved in.

Some would say, "Pretty 'BAD.'" My friend, who is a gardener and kept a 'garden of eden' of sorts for many years, would probably say, "Oh Melissa" with a disapproving look.

I do not feel ashamed - for I hold this belief very closely in my heart: Even BIG Sloppy Imperfect Messes have value. I can appreciate its wild, unkempt'ness. (So does the chipmunk - he lives in there somewhere.) My eyes see the relaxed state it exists in. It is a place of just letting go...of letting what will be to be...of allowing...of accepting...of embracing that which may not be embraced by 'society'. I can so relate to that.

Not everyone does or can believe in beautiful messes (chooses it??). Some are trapped by perfectionism - or as I like to call it, The Destructor, who will squash, crush, pulverize, and devourer all attempts at non-perfection. I have fought with this 'demon' for a long time in many different areas. (Secretly, I feel I am finally gaining the upper hand. But perhaps that could change at any time....best to remain alert.)

Even places like this contain tiny beauty that waits for us to notice it.

Somewhere along my journey, I've learned that tiny beauty is so worth BIG UGLY. I didn't always know that and I wasn't always as content as I am. Now all I have to do is apply this wisdom to people. Should be easy......................right?

~Hot Chocolate on a Chilly Morning~

Melissa

Saying goodbye to all that green (part 1)

2008-10-03T04:36:00.000-07:00

It's that sleepy time of year. I'll miss the way the woods look right now - full of leafy goodness. But the wheel turns. It will turn around again.

Moss is sexy. The way it tucks its-self in and around delights me. I'm captivated by the BAM'e'ness of its green. I long to have no grass....only moss....a thick carpet all around. Its versatility is to be admired - it can grow on the ground,

on a brick,

or on an old hollowed out tree.

A sea of ferns. Come spring and summer, they over-take the woods. My husband says we're going to start a business here and call it "Worms and Ferns."

Sometimes there is a surprise in them.

He's the cat that eats our birds and my neighbor said we could shoot. I told him he's lucky we don't shoot animals.

The intricate way that Life will have Its-Self. Crawling, creeping, digging in here and there, compelled to LIVE and experience its-self and all it comes into contact with.

The wild flowers clinging, still sharing themselves, telling stories of warmer days past and those yet to come.

The calm'ness of Buddha, surrounded by sacred'ness.

Painted rocks adding their wisdom.

Secret Fairies blowing wishes into the breeze.

The first tree to change its beauty, to begin the release of what was in order to rest, renew, and make way for something else.

I'm blessed to live here, to be surrounded by all of this and more. I'm in love with it. I adore it. It adds countless precious moments to my journey. It blesses my eyes, makes my heart sing, awakens my soul, dances with my spirit, and entertains my mind. If it could be tasted, I think it would taste like chocolate cake eaten in a bubble bath...luxuriously comforting.

~Ah, deep breath, our Earth is exquisite in all her ways~

Melissa

The more the merry-er (or something like that)

2008-10-01T08:21:00.000-07:00

~Deep breath~ People get on my nerves some-times.

Question: Why can't people just be responsible for their animals?

Answer: Because that's just how it is here on Earth. There is ecstasy and there is suffering. Without non-responsibility there is no responsibility (period).

So, I find myself in a situation of "cleaning up" someone else's mess. How can you say no to this?

That belly isn't fat....it's kittens. She's pregnant. We are already outnumbered by our cats - three of us, four of them. What's one more with ? on the way? Do we keep them? Do we foster them until they can be/are adopted? I feel concerned, but I just keep saying.....just do your part and let Spirit do the rest. This kitty was sent to us for a reason ~ we are responsible and loving. What's more important....going out to dinner, spending that 'extra' cash on something or some event OR making sure this cat and her babies are taken care of the way they deserve to be?

The people who are supposed to 'own' her are our neighbors. They apparently are responsible for single handedly supplying the neighborhood with cats. When we spoke with the wife about this cat she said, "Oh, you can keep her." When we mentioned another cat of 'theirs' is killing birds in our yard, she said, "You can shoot him." Real nice lady. Real humane. Why don't you try keeping him inside where he belongs? I was neighborly and didn't say a word about what irresponsible mean-spirited human beings I think they are being, in this area (as they've been real nice to us). I did suggest contacting the humane society about having them fixed so at least they'll stop having kittens. She said, "Oh yeah, maybe." They won't do it. So, we may have to be responsible for that too - I spoke to a 'friend' who said if we catch the cats on our property, we can have them fixed for $10.00. But that's a whole 'nother can of worms I'm not ready to open. What a world......

As far as this particular kitty goes: I could say ~ It's not my problem. It's not my cat. We have enough. We do enough. We can't afford it financially, emotionally, physically, mentally. We have no room...no vacancy. It's not our responsibility.

But it is our problem. It is our cat now. We do have enough. We can do more. We can afford it financially, if we tighten the ship up, emotionally, physically, if we spend more time with who's instead of what's, and mentally. We do have room....there is a vacancy, but perhaps we just didn't know it before. It is our responsibility to care for the animals we have been placed on this Earth with. Some of us are more responsible than others. Some of us are responsible in other areas. Cats just happens to be ours.

I just want to say...."PEOPLE GET YOUR CATS FIXED!!!!! PEOPLE GET YOUR CATS VACCINATED!!!!! PEOPLE TAKE CARE OF THE ANIMALS THAT YOU ADOPT, BUY, WHATEVER!!!!!!!" GRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

All I can say is this:
It will all work out. It will all work out. It will all work out. It will all work out. It will all work out. It will all work out. It will all work out. It will all work out. It will all work out. It will all work out. It will all work out. It will all work out. It will all work out. It will all work out. It will all work out. It will all work out. It will all work out. It will all work out. It will all work out. It will all work out.

Well, we gave her a super adorable'ly caaaa-ute name cause she deserves it: Zoe Chloe Cat! She's already gotten her first nickname: Zo-ster.

I'll sign off thinking of this.....
~Ah, the Absolute Magick of Birth and the joy of kittens crawling all over~

Melissa

Three's Fabulous

2008-09-29T08:24:00.000-07:00

I love great weekends when you really don't do anything 'special', but while you're in it you already know "This is a GREAT weekend!" It was a rainy Saturday - we (Tristan, Stu, and I)went to some craft stores and food shopping. That's it. But we laughed about everything. Those two are just so funny. Apparently none of us could talk right, so we kept saying words in a weird way - we'd all laugh about it. Then we have our reserve of movie and tv show lines we spit out when appropriate. Then there's our special reserve of things that we say or other people say or things that we do or that happen. It's like living a comedy routine. We see people around us laughing too - they're listening to us talk amongst ourselves. I adore my little family of three (plus the four cats). They've made my life. When I die and they ask me what my favorite thing was ~ it's going to be them. I enjoy being around them immensely. This is us a few years ago at the park where we used to live. I'm going to miss her being around every day when she grows up ~ but as totally fantastic as she is now, I'm really interested to see who she becomes.

Yesterday, we all worked on a project together. Tristan wanted to make a duvet cover for her blanket. A couple months ago we bought a sewing machine and material. Now that the weather is changing we're getting around to doing 'inside' projects. Anyways, not only did it turn out beautifully, but we had a fun time doing it. It was pretty easy too. She wanted zebra print. The reverse side is pink with tiny yellow stars. At the open end are ribbons to hold the blanket inside, well inside. Next project is a shower curtain. I'll let you know how that turns out.

We spotted this 'guy' on the side of the garage.

We also have a new neighbor.

He lives under the corner of our cement patio.

I'm making butternut squash soup for lunch. Mmmmm. I am in love with cool weather cooking.

~AUTUMN~

Melissa

When things flow

2008-09-26T05:28:00.000-07:00

I don't know why, but 'things' have been going my way recently. Mostly in the area of painting/creating. I'm pleased, I'm thrilled, I feel I'm finally finding ~my~ way. What a sigh of relief a time such as this brings. Something inside shifted by the way of a few 'new' thoughts I've had recently. I have everything I need in this life ~ meaning, if someone else has something that I don't have...it's because they need it...for whatever reason...I can convince myself that I need it and cause myself a ton of pain...or I can say, "Spirit says I don't need it and the proof is that it isn't here right now." I can want certain things, maybe I'll get them, maybe I won't, but I do not need them, they are not a requirement in my journey ~ for me to get where I'm supposed to, to do what I'm supposed to, to do what I want to with my time, or to create a feeling of well-being in myself....I already have all I need. I can cry out to Spirit and say, "Where is this? I need it!", but this only creates feelings of "not having", of not being cared for (by Spirit or anyone else), of worth'less'ness, of point'less'ness, and a general lack of interest in the journey. And Spirit is just there shaking Her head, going, "You so don't need that. Please just believe that you have all you need for this journey, you always do." So, perhaps part of the shift is that instead of focusing on what I feel I need and don't have that others seem to, I am focusing on my work, on what I want to do, accomplish, experience. I think I was "here" before, but I'm climbing back into the tree, only this time I am able to go higher.

Anyways, I finished the painting ~ I totally adore it! I still have to 'frame' it, but the painting part is done man.

A closer view of Her.

A view of the words. "She longed to touch the fragrant open~ness of the bloom."

It isn't complete in this picture, but it looks so good in my studio with my other belongings scattered around. My studio rocks. After I clean it up (it gets so messy in the creation process), I'll post some more pictures of it.

So, I'm in the ~flow~ all flowy. Things are working. I even used the sewing machine I bought a few months ago and it worked for me! Exactly the way I wanted it to. I haven't used a sewing machine since high school (gosh that's 18 years ago - wow) and even then it was only once or twice. My other recent attempts went pretty badly, so I was kinda losing faith/confidence. I can't take credit for it though, I swear things are going too well to be under my power ~ there are forces at work. (Thank you with a gracefully low sweeping bow.)

I think another thing that helped me was watching "Under the Tuscan Sun" - again. The Ladybugs. The idea of 'living spherically ~ in all directions.' They were the precursors or initiators of the idea of not needing what I thought I needed. I love it when a movie (even one I've seen more than 20 times) can shift the journey into a more positive place.

I'm off to do some more sewing. I think a fern just waved at me.

~New thoughts leading to The Flow~

Melissa

Coughing cats

2008-09-24T03:03:00.000-07:00

I was woken up about an hour ago (currently it's 6 am) by a cat coughing next to my head. I petted him and then curled back up. He kept coughing. Half asleep, I reached over to pet him again, but my hand met with a strange object. Turned out it was my husband's face.

"Oh, that's you. Sorry."

"Uh huh" half laughing.

There was no going back to sleep after that. So here I am (the only living boy in New York....sorry been listening to Simon and Garfunkel).

Working on a painting....my best work to date (as far as shading goes). I'm really in love with it, which is good for me. I feel different somehow. I'll probably finish it by the end of the day, so I'll put pictures up later.

Solanco Fair ~ I entered the journal and box (pictured somewhere below). Strange thing. The journal won 3rd place....although there was no 1st or 2nd place. No competition. Apparently they thought two empty spots of nothing was better than my journal. Or perhaps they cannot count. Personally, I'm banking on the not being able to count. I can't really count either, that's why I married an accountant. ;) The box also won 3rd place. At least there was a 1st and 2nd place this time. I liked my stuff better, but perhaps I am biased. Whatever, next.....

Chipmunks have been collecting birdseed like crazy. They stuff their faces and then run away with puffy cheeks. Ca-ute. One day, I'd like to be able to feed them from my hand. My daughter, Tristan, says she wants to hug them - I said, "Good luck." Our cats don't even really like us hugging them, but we hug them anyway. Hey, we pay for their food and clean up their crap....literally. They owe us.

~Forced cat hugs~
Melissa

Rowie Ambrosea-o: Perpetual Winker, Snoring Champion

2008-09-22T05:14:00.000-07:00

This is Rowan Ambrose. He's the alpha male of our pack of four cats. He's got a cute little freckle on his nose, a tiny white spot between his shoulder blades, and a small patch of hair that sticks up on his head like Alfalfa. He's perfect. There's one question everyone always asks when they meet him.

What happened to his eye? He was born an outside cat on land that was owned by a local veterinarian. The family noticed that he had an infection in his eye, but he was so afraid of them, they couldn't get a hold of him. When they finally did get him, it was too late to save his eye. It was removed and sewed up. I don't think he really knows the difference. He still closes it if the area gets touched. The only time he has a 'problem' with it is when we sneak up on his right side and scare him, cause he can't see us until he turns his head. But it's cute cause he makes a little squeaky sound. Sometimes I wonder what the other cats think about it. They probably think what I do....he's just perpetually winking!

When I met him, he was about 3 months old. I came home from work on a Friday night. My daughter's friends walked up to us with this tiny tan ball of fur with purple stitches in his eye. I knew he had to belong to someone....who would let a one eyed kitten outside? He had to have run away. I took him inside and the girls went door to door asking who he belonged to. No one claimed him. I called another vet (not the one the 'owner' worked at, but for the life of me I have no idea why I did that now) who said they had a phone number of someone who lost a tan male kitten with one eye. Had to be him. I called them all weekend, but apparently they were away. By Sunday we loved him. My daughter (she was just a little girl then) wanted to keep him. So, when the 'owners' contacted me and said he was an outside cat, I asked if we could keep him. They thought it over and decided they didn't want to be selfish and keep him if he could have an inside home. We never figured out how he got all the way from their house (which was several miles away) to my house. I know it was meant to be. Me and him were meant to be together.

My daughter loves to dress the cats up. Rowan is a good sport about it.

Here's some shots of Fred....that's what we call Rowan's belly. I don't know why he sits like this...none of the other cats do, but it's super adorable. Sometimes he sits like that for 10 minutes. He's a weirdo. Currently, he is pulling the hair out of his belly because he's upset that there are outside cats coming onto our property. So Fred is partially bald. I keep telling him he needs to stop because the vet is going to say he's crazy and needs to take crazy pills. I don't think he's listening.

He looks like he was out drinking. Lousy drunk.....

Window gazing. Bird watching.

He's the laundry basket king!

This guy brings napping to an all new level. He could sleep anywhere, anytime...including a box lid. Well, unless the vacuum is running or someone knocks at the door, as he is terrified of both. He also is known for his snoring. Wakes me up sometimes, it's so loud.

"Mom, what? I'm sleeping......::yawn::"

He loves his sister.

Beggar of food.......

and don't ever leave a cup of milk unsupervised cause it will either have Rowan's head in it or it'll be on the floor with Rowan sitting around looking totally innocent. He loves corn...especially corn on the cob. He's like a maniac for it!

"So, what's'a madda with you?"

We name all our cats one official name, but then they also get nicknames. We're strange like that.

Here are some of Rowan's names - Rowan (little red one) Ambrose (eternal) - we usually only use his middle name when he gets into trouble, Ro-Ro, Bubba, Bubbie, Bear (sometimes Bubba Bear), Pumpkin, Rowie Ambrosea-o, Ditten or Mr. Ditten (like Kitten with a D) (which my husband forgot once and said, "What do you call him, Dittle?" which created another name for him), Dittle or Mr. Dittle, Ditt, Mommy's baby Rowan. I think there might be more, but I'm at a loss right now. It gives you an idea though. Funny thing is that he knows all his names. I can't forget to mention Fred again, Rowan's belly, but I didn't do that one...that was all my daughter.

I sing to him, the same tune, but usually I made up the words as I go along. My husband says Rowan has his own theme song. As you can see from all the pictures, he's totally photogenic!

One more thing.....I love him, no, I LOVE him.

~Rowan forever~

Melissa

Comments

2008-09-21T09:09:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to say YAY ~ I got comments!! Such a little thing, but made me happy. Thanks to the local ladies.

I'm off to do laundry. yay.

~Sparkles~
Melissa

Fuzzy milkshakes

2008-09-17T10:10:00.000-07:00

I finished the painting I was working on. Here 'tis. I'm in the liking of it. All of my energy is concentrated on the not allowing of any negative thoughts about my work to swarm around in my head and create a village. A closer view of Her.
A closer view of the words ~ At midnight she leaned back, relished the moment, and was beauty come alive.

I just wanted to note that I cannot stand the fuzzy foam that collects on the top of milkshakes, but I adore chocolate milkshakes none the less. I drink as many as I can.

~With whipped cream on top~

Melissa

Dirty feet, magick mugs

2008-09-16T06:17:00.000-07:00

Last night I took my first Yoga class. I've done yoga at home, alone, but never in a class setting. While laying down and stretching my arms above my head, I touched a woman's feet. heehee. My daughter said "Eww" ~ she hates feet. Didn't bother me. They're just feet. Why do we get so grossed out by other people's body parts? Perhaps we fear that they aren't 'clean'. Society worries about 'clean' way too much. Now a~days, it's throw away this and throw away that. All in an order to never be 'dirty', have anything 'dirty', or touch anything 'dirty'. I watch commercials try to make people paranoid. This morning I saw one with a woman and a boy brushing their teeth. The woman accidentally sprayed the mirror with her toothbrush. What to do? Well, she just grabbed a antibacterial wipey that doesn't streak and wiped that mirror clean. Personally, I wondered why the mirror had to be sterilized from bacteria. Is she planning on eating off it later? They try to scare people into buying this unnecessary product and don't forget that one too. Sad thing is that many people do buy into it. Look lady, get yourself some white vinegar and an old newspaper. Everything will be fine.

My favorite mug. It has chips, but I still sip from its lip. I've had it so long that I don't remember where I got it. But I do know that when I first saw it, I had to have it. Inside, the pink swirls around and around, ring after ring, until it reaches the bottom, leaving a circle. My magick mug makes everything just taste better.

Perhaps one day it will be gone. Or it will have so many chips that I can't use it in the same way. Maybe it will outlast me. Don't know. I just know today we'll spend the morning together. I'll cherish it. It will cherish my love.

The Solanco Fair is this week. So, tonight I will be entering two items for 'judging'. A journal and a decoupaged box. Last year I won first prize in both categories.

Above is a view of the bottom of the box and partial side. I do adore these items. The colors are so rich. Every time I make one I selfishly want to keep it for myself. A few of my journals can be found at LunarChild's . In the future, I hope to have an Etsy shop.

A painting I did a few months ago.

I'm in love with everything about this woman.

I long to live the way she does.....with the ebb and flow of a wild spirit!

~Paint stained hands~

Melissa

Struggles, bugs, and sunsets

2008-09-15T05:40:00.000-07:00

This is a part of the painting I'm working on. The fabric sucked up the colors. It accepted them, embraced them, allowed them to alter how it looks. The fabric didn't say, "That's not good enough."

I struggle so much with how I feel about my art. I begin with an idea. I draw it. I like it. I continue. I paint it. I fall in love with parts or pieces or even with the whole. Then time passes ~ maybe even just a minute ~ somewhere my "feelings/thoughts/beliefs" change. I see it as not good enough, childish, not as good as what I've seen other people create. I don't understand this process. I don't understand where it came from. How was this poison created in me? Why was it? What can I do to rid myself of it?

Ugh. It's very painful. I dislike it.

I wonder if other artists deal with this. Many times I see ones on TV who just love their own 'stuff.' I think that's great. I just wonder how they do it and if I can.

For now, I leave it. It's here. I accept it. One day I will discover its gifts. I move on.

~deep cleansing breath~ Next.....

My backyard. Every time I see this, I can't believe this is my view. We bought a house a year ago after living in apartments for years. It's mostly surrounded by woods. We have lots of animals that visit us. In the last year we've seen ~ many, many different kinds of birds, chipmunks, hawks, groundhogs, opossums, salamanders, praying mantises, skunks, snakes, frogs, one turtle (so far), bugs and bugs and bugs, squirrels, bats, deer, rabbits, mice (they live in the walls of the house cause if they came out our four cats would kill 'em) and one unidentified small furry, large eyed, nocturnal animal that came up on our steps one night. We've heard owls, but haven't seen any yet.

Last evening we had the A/C on so everything was closed up. We heard a loud bug sound. My husband, Stu, decided it must be in between the front door and the screen door. Sure enough, when we opened the door there was a bug there. Unfortunately it was BIG and flew in the house right at us. The cats were trying to get it. Then they scattered because we started screaming and running while flailing our arms because the darn thing was coming after us. It didn't seem accidental either. He was chasing us around the house. He landed on the floor. Miss Binx Bianca Bedazzle jumped right into action to which we all yelled, "NO." We're bug savers. Instead of getting to kill and eat the bugs our cats get treats. They do their job very well, so we keep the companies who make cat treats in business.

Anyways, Stu used his trusty plastic container with its sidekick bigger plastic lid to catch the guy and put him outside. He walked away from the patio and dropped him on the sidewalk. The bug crawled around a little. But wasn't flying like inside. I said, "Is he hurt?" Stu leaned over and said, "No, I think he's alright." Next thing I know the bug is flying again, first right at Stu, then making a b-line for me. So, we started screaming again. The next door neighbor's dogs started barking. They were probably wondering what was going on.

Wife neighbor "What are they doing now?"

Husband neighbor "I don't know (rolling his eyes). I think they're running from a bug. Ha, ha."

One more picture.....last night's show.

~Mesmerizing Sunsets~

Melissa

I covet balance

2008-09-11T07:28:00.000-07:00

From my journal ~

The sun has been slow to show up today. Not me. BAM! I was out of the gate and getting things done. Dishes, laundry...I even cleaned the litter boxes and that's not even my job man! At times, I wish I was like this every day. But I am not. And that is OK - because there is a balance to my life. I covet BALANCE! I have no desire to be all of something and not something else. I believe deeply ~ penetrating'ly ~ in balance. I am not 'glass half empty.' I am not 'glass half full.' I say, "It is gloriously both at the same time!" YAY.

So, to those days when the dishes are piled up and the laundry over-flows, I say this...

Do not worry, for today your counterpoint has arrived!

yucky feeling.

I spent all day yesterday on the computer looking at other women's blogs (gosh there are some super cute places!), messing around with my own, and copying pictures from the computer to disks. Yes, I am STILL doing that. Who knew it would take so long? And I'm only in 2006! Ugh.

Today, I have a time limit. There is a painting that is calling my name, wanting me to touch it with brushes and paint (perhaps a little dye as well). Mmmmm....painting!

~Fuzzy kitten hugs~

Do it now!

2008-09-10T05:41:00.000-07:00

The dream: I am walking down the street and notice beautiful clothing hanging on a street sign. I assume it is free. I try to touch it. A Native American man removes what I wanted. I now realize it isn't free when I catch a glimpse of the price tag, as a matter of fact it is expensive. I am worrying about getting out of buying something.

Thankfully a conversation between my husband and daughter saves me from spending more money than I want to, but it provides me a whole new issue: A year's worth of movies and shows saved on our DVR is corrupt and needs to be deleted {period}. No saving them. No recording them like we kept saying we were going to do. Gone, just gone. Not a darn thing we can do about it but take it. The last season of Lost is well, lost. Star Wars Family Guy, Robot Chicken Star Wars special - . I don't even want to try to remember what else was on there. What's the point? It's gone and I can't get it back. Also gone is the schedule set up to record the shows we like. It'll take me some time and some brain power, but I can reset that. It's just annoying. "Computers" - grrrrr.

Why did we so stupidly keep putting off recording all those movies and shows when it would have been so easy to do so? Laziness. Plain old laziness. In the future, we will refer to this, The Great Hard Drive Crash of '08, and the resulting protocol : If you want to keep something....USE THE DVD RECORDER WE SPENT LOTS OF MONEY ON AND RECORD IT! and if you really like it and are just a little paranoid...make a copy too.

A few good things have come out of it:

1) I love that I've grown ~ many, many moons ago I would have been upset/mad about this. Today, I'm like "It happened, it's gone, all gone, being upset won't change anything but make me have a bad day."

2) I am FINALLY getting around to copying many, many years worth of pictures that are saved on this computer. I've been scared into it!

3) This incident will become part of our repertoire - "You'd better copy that....remember what happened during The Great Hard Drive Crash of '08"???" It was kinda funny too cause I was on the phone with my hubby just as I was getting ready to delete everything. He said, "Put the phone near the DVR." I hear him say "Semper Fi" which is part of our Simpsons repertoire. Made me laugh.

4) Dish Network gave us 20 bucks! :)

Strange that this happened, the other day while having a conversation about the fact that my daughter's teacher was making her write a report instead of typing it, I remembered a time I spent all night typing a report only to have the computer freeze before I saved it. Perhaps I learned the lesson for good this time. ~ crossing fingers ~

Wondrous Wild Wanderings

End of the year, end of this blog

It was a good day

Christmas Goodies

Some magickal discoveries

Happy 2 month Birthday Wormers!

Music Monday: Peppy'ness and Sunshine!

Sensational Sandy Tagged Me

Thank~full Thursday

Made for you blog

What's on my walls?

Wisdom and Struggle

Mail Call

Breathing in....breathing out

Gratitude through the yucky parts

An award for lil ol' me :)

I need a lil breaky-break

Kim told me to

Welcome to My World

My Birth~Day

A new Faerie Squarie

Snail mail comes and goes, and becomes part of my studio

Creating my creative butt off

New Item and The Results of the give~away

I am so thrilled and honored

~~~Grand Opening of my Etsy shop and a free gifty~~~

Give~away

Do you believe in Magick?

Reflections of our~selves

Male, male, and more male

Squirmy Wormers update

Perfect Partners

Soaking IN Purple

The BESTEST Anniversary present EVER....or squirmy wormers

4 YEARS! that's my favorite number

Find Your Breath

My Wolf'ness

Surprise!

HERE IT IS!

Making a banner for Etsy is

Precious Moments

Wild and Unkempt Places (saying goodbye to all that green part 2)

Saying goodbye to all that green (part 1)

The more the merry-er (or something like that)

Three's Fabulous

When things flow

Coughing cats

Rowie Ambrosea-o: Perpetual Winker, Snoring Champion

Comments

Fuzzy milkshakes

Dirty feet, magick mugs

Struggles, bugs, and sunsets

I covet balance

Do it now!

~Grand Opening of my Etsy shop and a free gifty~